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Student Life

Ron Swanson: The 10 Questions of Procrastination

Read this. It will help you procrastinate even further.

Michael Moody

Aug 15, 2016

Brigham Young University

227

Ron Swanson: The 10 Questions of Procrastination

Images6

1. Why am I taking this class?

The ol' groan and moan. We all know it.

2. Do I even need an education?

Dropping out of school is a legitimate option in your minds when procrastinating.

3.How does technology even work?

Of course the server decides to crash right before you submit your assignment.

4. Can someone else do this for me?

I'll be the first to admit, everyone wants their mommy five minutes before the assignment is due.

5. Are breaks allowed?

Even though you've only spent 10 minutes actually doing the assignment, the rigor of Facebook and Buzzfeed surfing can be intense.

6. Is turnitin.com a requirement?

The professor will never know if I copy and paste this from Wikipedia.

7. Why did I wait this long to start the assignment?

You have literally never hated yourself more.

8. What happens if I don't turn it in?

You pass that point of not caring, and it becomes a point of no return.

9. Did I just close without saving?

This is why they invented auto-save.

10. How did I really just finish that?

The masses should bow down at your ability to finish an assignment at the speed of light. You are a god.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Essex County, NJ

380

Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

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finals

Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

University of Dayton

2006

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

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Student Life

26 Things to Thank Our Roommates For

Who knows where we would be without them.

Michigan State University

1345

StableDiffusion

Where do we begin when we start talking about our roommates? You practically spend every moment with them, they become your second family and they deal with you at your best and at your absolute worst. They are there to make you laugh just a little harder, cry a little less and make each day a little better. We often forget to thank them for the little things that they do to make college even a tiny bit easier and more fun. This list of 26 things are what you should thank your roommates for right this minute and every day that you live with them.

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Entertainment

Disney magic for New Year!

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Butler University

7206

Disney magic kingdom castle on new years

StableDiffusion

Disney movies are well known and very popular in today's world. Although many people appreciate the plot and the storyline, not many people appreciate the wisdom these characters possess. Every Disney movie has unique advice that can be applied to everyday life. Here are 11 Disney quotes to help start your New Year off right:

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disney movies

Recommended for you

Ron Swanson: The 10 Questions of Procrastination

Read this. It will help you procrastinate even further.

1. Why am I taking this class?

2. Do I even need an education?

3.How does technology even work?

4. Can someone else do this for me?

5. Are breaks allowed?

6. Is turnitin.com a requirement?

7. Why did I wait this long to start the assignment?

8. What happens if I don't turn it in?

9. Did I just close without saving?

10. How did I really just finish that?

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May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

Who knows where we would be without them.

1. Thank you for laughing at my jokes, even when they really aren’t funny.

2. Thank you for singing unbearably loud with me all the time.

3. Thank you for letting me vent to you for hours about anything and basically being my personal therapist.

4. Thank you for ordering pizza with me at 2 in the morning.

5. Thank you for all the movie days when we don’t feel like moving.

6. Thank you for being my workout buddy everyday.

7. Thank you for sharing your closets with me.

8. Thank you for taking naps with me at random hours during the day.

9. Thank you for cleaning our home with me when we absolutely need to.

10. Thank you for all the rides when it’s late and you don’t want me to walk home alone in the dark.

11. Thank you for studying with me in our kitchen when we didn't want to go the library.

12. Thank you for making dinner with me.

13. Thank you for helping with my hair, makeup and outfit every time we go out.

14. Thank you for taking countless ugly pictures with me.

15. Thank you for not judging me when I go too long without showering.

16. Thank you for making our apartment feel like a second home.

17. Thank you for being there through all of our boy troubles.

18. Thank you for giving me a hug when I feel homesick.

19. Thank you for getting excited with me when one of us gets a good grade on an exam.

20. Thank you for still being my friend and not judging me when I say or do dumb things.

21. Thank you for telling me what I should do when I am sick.

22. Thank you for dancing horribly with me everywhere we go.

23. Thank you for staying up super late with me when we aren’t tired or can’t sleep.

24. Thank you for being super weird with me.

25. Thank you for all the unforgettable college memories.

26. And most of all, thank you for being the best friends a girl could have.

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1. "What do I have to study for?"

2. "What class do I need to study for the most?"

3. "I’m going to ace this."

4. "Focus!"

5."I have no idea what I'm reading."

6. "I should call my smart friend about this."

7. "I’m going to fail. I’m going to fail."

8. "I’m dropping out of school."

9. "What grade do I have to get on the final to pass the class?"

10. "Oh, no, I have to do good."

11. "I shouldn’t have procrastinated all semester."

12. "I wanna go to bed."

13. "We did not learn this!"

14. "I should go get food."

15. "Why do we even have finals?"

16. "I don’t want to be at the library."

17. "Get off your phone."

18. "I can watch Netflix for like 20 minutes and then go back to studying."

19. "I shouldn’t have watched Netflix."

20. "You have to study now!"

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

Remember you’re the one who can fill the world with sunshine. — Snow White

The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it. — Rafiki

You don't have time to be timid. You must be bold and daring. — Lumière

If watching is all you're gonna do, then you're gonna watch your life go by without ya. — Laverne

Sometimes the right path is not the easiest one. — Grandmother Willow

Always let your conscience be your guide. — Jiminy Cricket

To infinity and beyond. — Buzz Lightyear

Life is a journey to be experienced, not a problem to be solved. — Pooh

Let it go. — Elsa

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. — Thumper

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