Love. Tears. Sex. Heartbreak. Envy. Drama. Marriage.

Monday nights are routine. I sprint to my friend's apartment with oversized sweatpants, clutching on to a bottle of wine, ready to see which boy cries tonight on "The Bachelorette." My squad and I have our eyes glued to the television in silence, but there is always the occasional "Yelp" or the "Oh my God, if she doesn't pick him I'm unfollowing her on Instagram and sending him an edible arrangement." The random "ARE YOU KIDDING?" outburst that echoes the apartment walls never fails to make an appearance either. The commercial breaks are exclusively reserved for roasting the corniness of the show. Tuesdays are for group chats, laughing at Betches' newest article on last night's episode. Becca's season especially has our attention because of her monumental breakup with Arie on last season's "The Bachelor" (and because of her awful outfit choices—yikes.) Screaming whenever she says she loves Garrett, because #teamBlake. It's serious stuff. For those who aren't fans, you're probably wondering why a bunch of 21-year-olds are so emotionally invested in a reality TV show that seems completely orchestrated. Well, good question, because I have been wondering the exact same thing.

"The Bachelorette" is the closest thing we have to a real-life rom-com. Becca, this current season's bachelorette, started off with 28 guys and has landed on two. In the course of this season alone, I have seen grown men cry and Becca herself have about four mental breakdowns—I love it. The show is not like every other reality TV show where someone yells for the sake of views. The connections are real. The way these men look at her cannot be for views. There is true love behind each stare, smile and conversation—no way these randoms are that good of actors. Speaking as a fangirl, it is riveting. However, objectively speaking, it is unsettling.

The structure of the show creates genuine reactions from their contestants and bachelorette. The bachelors are cut off from the outside world for three months to focus on one girl. They live together and usually develop friendships or enemies with one another (where's the popcorn?) —but they all, of course, develop feelings for her. So imagine your roommate pining after your girlfriend? Or watching your girlfriend take other guys out on intimate "one-on-ones"? Saying your friend's name before you in a rose ceremony? It tears the men apart, especially as the season progresses and the feelings develop into love. Don't get me wrong, Becca doesn't have it easy either. She has to choose between people she's falling for or people she loves. She has to break the hearts of the men she cares about.

When it's broken down, it's an incredibly toxic environment. So why does half of the United States get giddy on Mondays at 8 p.m.? Why do my best friends and I gather around to watch a show that is meant for love, but results in 27 men crying? Because it still fulfills our need for a fairytale love. Rom-coms can only do so much because they aren't real people. While I'm cuddled underneath a fluffy blanket next to my closest friends, I'm watching Blake grasp on to the back of Becca's hair, pausing before he kisses her with the most gentle sigh because he genuinely loves her. Meanwhile, I can't even get a text back from the "boy who doesn't want a relationship right now" and I'm obsessively checking my home screen to see if he will at least Snapchat me. But when I'm watching a random guy from Colorado say three magical words to this beautiful, but random, girl from Minnesota, it gives a girl hope. But, the more I think about how the show is structured, the more I'm worried about girls like me watching this show.

I'm not the only one by any means. Most people who love this show have this same need to watch the fight for this fairytale love story. A fan from my personal viewing party said it best: "It feeds into every woman's desire for a fantasy romance, whether they want to admit they have it or not." Another fan stated that they just love watching their favorite bachelors develop a strong relationship, and also because most of the guys are hot, which is so true.

However, what disturbs me about how true these statements are, is that girls, myself included, have a desire for this unrealistic standard of love, but even this standard is not healthy. We all crave this rom-com love story, but so does the producers of "The Bachelorette." Theyaltered the realities of the people on the show to create a product we are happy with. The men on the show are almost forced to have this connection with Becca because she is all they have for three months. Becca had her unedited break up with her ex-fiancé, Arie, and it gets brought up on multiple occasions. She is now jumping into a new relationship after being publicly humiliated—the show is not merciful on mental stability. So why do we use an unhealthy outlet to fill this void of "romantic love" when there is nothing romantic about it? This generation especially has issues with commitment and genuine connection, but we are using "The Bachelor"/"The Bachelorette" to fuel these false ideals. Maybe we should watch boys cry for entertainment value rather than romantic value? And even then, it's a bit messed up.

Not to completely bash on the show, because I know on Monday I'm going to see if Becca chooses Blake or Garrett, but it needs to be known the structure of the show is psychologically unhealthy. It's real, but not our reality. So, the next time you are having a wine night with the girls while watching "The Bachelorette," remember, it's for fun, not for fulfillment. And remember, the jerk you're waiting on a Snapchat from? Not worth it.