Hopeless romantics tend to be portrayed as people who constantly try to find their soulmate, will not accept anything other than true, perfect, cheesy love, and spend all their time watching/reading Nicholas Sparks movies/novels. I try to be a hopeless romantic and to love in a way that lights the soul of the beloved. Which I partly dislike because identifying with any label makes me weary. Contrary to the generalizations, I do not obsess over romantic movies or books. I cannot predict the future and understand anything can happen; but, at the time I would prefer to marry my future husband in my mid to late twenties. My definition of a hopeless romantic is a person who falls in love with every part of life, spreads love to others, believes in the good nature of another person, and never gives up on love despite heartbreak. Their strength shows through the boundless love they give to others.

Yes, I hope to find unconditional love but that really should not be viewed as a ‘hopeless’ goal. Lovers should love each other during every circumstance. They should always keep their word, treat each other with kindness, and inspire each other to be the best person they can be. Society often portrays modern love surviving only if partners buy each other the finest gifts, track each other on their phones, hang out every second of every day, eat at the best restaurants, and place sexual desires at the top of their priorities in the relationship. Not only do trust levels plummet; but attachments develop instead of genuine affection for each other. These standards can make people who want unconditional love become labeled as “hopeless romantics”. Contrary to this belief, it is not hopeless to view love as unconditional. Love fulfills us spiritually, physically, and mentally, and does not form unhealthy attachments.

I do not read many romantic novels or watch movies as such; but I do feel a sense of love when I read poetry and listen to music. The writer places his heart for the reader to view and to take what they need to fulfill their own heart. One of my favorite poems about love is by the Sufi poet Rumi:

It perfectly states that we all have love within us; and we just need to ignite this love to fully experience it. Certain song lyrics shaped my view on love and even instilled the feeling of love in my heart. A really good line that portrays a person’s love for another is, “The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you/ And that you’re standing in the doorway” Going to Georgia//The Mountain Goats. I took the line out of its context; but alone it simply shows that the mere presence of the beloved lights up the lover. Even in nature and during my daily routine, I find a way to romanticize or find love. Happiness and love emanates from the earth through the trees, stars, clouds, animals, air, and the rest of nature. You can find love in your daily coffee run by being kind to the cashier. Their face will light up and give off love which you will then receive in your heart. When I run errands to the mall or grocery store, I often people watch. I love to see the interactions between the people around me. Sometimes, I see actions that can fulfill any heart. A loving conversation between a mom and daughter or an employee helping a customer find an item both contain love. It is our job to discover this ‘hidden’ joy and spread it to others. I guess romanticizing most of my life can put me in the ‘hopeless romantic’ category; but the label is not so bad.

A hopeless romantic does not give up on love despite heartbreak after heartbreak. Even if their heart breaks over a little fling or crush, they will curl up for a day or two in sadness; but after the short recovery, they suit up for the next lover they will encounter. I tend to take breakups or endings hard; but I always come back good as new. You live and you learn. You learn a more clear definition of love after each heartbreak. Love hurts. But when the time comes that true, genuine love comes my way, every difficult time and bump in the road will transform from a hindrance to a blessing. “God bless the broken road that led me straight to you” Bless the Broken Road//Rascal Flatts. I guess I am a hopeless romantic; but I would not have it any other way.