In every structure of society, unwritten rules determine how humans choose to interact with each other. They may be established for undisclosed reasons, but obedience to them is critical. If someone is to intentionally violate the unspoken rules of the culture, the individual will likely be labeled a deviant and face social rejection from his or her community. When this concept is then applied to the online arena of the social network, one quickly learns that the internet has its own set of unspoken principles that may not be explicitly told to the user. For example, the social medium of Facebook is usually not an avenue for meaningful discussion relating to personal matters or controversial issues in society. Rather, it is far more common to have a news feed dominated by pictures from Instagram which feature women looking their best and buff guys doing exhilarating things. Yet many of these posts are from profiles of wealthy individuals who are able to flaunt their social status to various peers online. Their social influence online as the trendsetters online gives them social access over regulating the unwritten codes of Facebook. But this medium of online popularity isn’t limited to the amount of likes on a post, but reinforces power dynamics found in public life.
As a black man of mixed ancestry, there is personal discomfort knowing that my heritage is not the mainstream voice and likely never will be. Just like the "real world", I am forced to be tactful with my vocabulary in order to disavow racist fears of white people. To some extent I feel ashamed, because I will always have to betray who I am without any guarantees of social acceptance. And while Facebook creates an environment where there are minimal social consequences for posting controversial posts, it does not liberate the reality of marginalization. In the same way I have been "unfriended" from peers who were once good friends, I have had my presence disregarded when I befriended people in the real life. Indeed, the power dynamics are still very present.
At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that I matter as an individual in God’s eyes. Yes, Wheaton College is filled with individuals who are members of “closed households” that may never know someone who looks like me. But gaining their social acceptance is a futile task! Even if I got a million likes, several hundred thousand comments, and an abundance of shares the merit of such recognition would not result in any form of personal salvation. Because what really matters is choosing to value my self-worth, becoming active with community events, and caring those who have been unloved.
