(Nothing More's set at Rock Allegiance. My personal photo)

All I could hear were my inner thoughts telling me that I was unsafe. I felt like I was going to cry. My nerves were kicking in and I became consumed by anxiety and confusion. Why was I feeling this way? Why was it impossible to enjoy what was right is front of me? What was I doing at a rock concert? There were so many questions running through my mind during my first concert experience. After the thoughts went away, I realized that the stadium that made me want to cry, was where I belonged.

I remember my first concert. I went with two of my close friends and my boyfriend. During my junior year of college I finally got to experience a rock festival! I have always loved metal and how connected it makes everyone. I was filled with so much joy. I had just watched the band Nothing More. I will tell you that I have never felt so connected to band in my life! When they played the song Jenny, I screamed every single word! I was so focused on the music, I forgot where I was. I was enjoying my self.... and then the anxiety kicked in. As we walked from stage to stage I became overwhelmed.

There were so many people, all of them trying to make their way through the sea of bodies. Maybe they felt the same way I did. That's the problem with anxiety, on the inside you are screaming, but on the outside you are quiet. My anxiety followed me as I made my way to The Hollywood Undead tent. That was exactly what their stage was, a tent! People were so close together and all I could think of was a way out. Where were the exits, were we safe? My legs felt like they wanted to detach from my body. At this time I had become possessed by anxious thoughts. I could not do it. My boyfriend was behind me, holding me the whole time. I remember that there was a woman beside me who talked me through it and gave me a bottle of water. Behind my boyfriend the people told him that they would help if anything happened. These wonderful people changed my mindset completely.

That very moment was when I remembered why I went to Rock Allegiance. I was here to enjoy the music, just like everyone else. I suddenly went from being afraid of the people around me to realizing they are just like me. I have become one of them.I learned that I needed to take a moment and realize that I was just a fellow rocker! Being able to handle my first concert experience I have been able to handle large groups of people. I have become more comfortable with myself in the presence of thousands. If I can survive being at a rock concert with thousands of other people, I can take on anything. I even found myself close to the stage when I went to my next concert (Rock On The Range)

(Bring Me The Horizon's set during Rock on the Range, photo credit goes to my boyfriend Justin.)

After going to Rock Allegiance I realized that I can take on Rock on the Range. I remember how nervous I was because this was my first time getting floor seats. (Note my good friends generously gave me their floor seats for the day. I am so in love with Bring Me the Horizon so this was a dream of mine). As nervous as I was, I met another kind woman. This extremely kind stranger was there for me the whole time. She bought me a bottle of water, and even helped me weave through the large group of people. Let me tell you that Bring Me the Horizon puts on one fantastic show, but a rough one at that. I was once again reminded that I have a connection with everyone on the stadium floor. I am able to scream the lyrics on the top of my lungs and feel like I belong. This feeling is one of the greatest feelings you can have.

Before I experienced these rock concerts, I struggled with being around people. Every time I went shopping with my sister I was a nervous wreck. Now when we go out my anxiety does not attack me. I have even been able to participate in a 5k with my sister in Pittsburgh! I am so thankful from the lessons I have learned at rock concerts. I will always remember the generous people who reminded me that everyone has their struggles, but music can bring us together. I am so happy that I no longer fear people around me. I am able to remind myself that I will have days where I struggle, but I can fight back. Rock concerts have changed my life, and I will never forget the generous actions of strangers who helped me a long the way. So thank you Rock Allegiance, and Rock on the Range for reminding me to enjoy the music.