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Road Rage As Told By Donald Trump

Make America great again (at driving).

Sarah Glasheen

May 10, 2016

Stonehill College

Conservative Review

Everyone has those days, everybody gets that way. A Sunday quick drive can go to sh*t quickly when everyone except yourself all of a sudden forgets that they were ever licensed drivers, or, better yet, has ever operated a vehicle in their lifetime. One missed turn -- that's OK. Two, and it gets a little tense. Then the minivan in front of you going 35 in a 60 just makes you lose your cool. It's on. Full blown road rage is in effect. Speaking of losing your cool, our good friend and presidential candidate Mr. Donald Trump doesn't ever seem to have much "cool". Bet he is a strong supporter and regular participator in road rage. Therefore, I have written an article explaining the stages of road rage according to America's favorite hot head, Donald Trump.

Stage 1: It's totally fine. I will keep my cool.

Stage 2: That Toyota just cut me off! It is on, b*tch!

Stage 3: Don't try to talk me down! He cut me off!

Stage 3: When your passenger comes in with the backup support.

Stage 4: Oh, was I tailgating too close? My bad, Toyota!

Stage 5: You screw it and decide to pass the Toyota in the fast lane.

Stage 6: He's trying to come over again!

Stage 7: You are joking!

Stage 8: Is there a solution?

To keep out all these incompetent drivers!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Road Rage As Told By Donald Trump

Make America great again (at driving).

Stage 1: It's totally fine. I will keep my cool.

Stage 2: That Toyota just cut me off! It is on, b*tch!

Stage 3: Don't try to talk me down! He cut me off!

Stage 3: When your passenger comes in with the backup support.

Stage 4: Oh, was I tailgating too close? My bad, Toyota!

Stage 5: You screw it and decide to pass the Toyota in the fast lane.

Stage 6: He's trying to come over again!

Stage 7: You are joking!

Stage 8: Is there a solution?

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There are plenty of obstacles that come when taking care of kids, but it's a very rewarding experience.

1. You get excited when the parents purchase season passes to the pool.

2. You've become friends with the stay-at-home moms in town.

3. You get a chance to eat "kid foods" again.

4. You've traded in your cute purse for a large tote bag.

5. You have at least one car seat in your backseat.

6. Their nap time is your happy time.

7. Lunch time can be a disaster.

8. You have to play the same board games repeatedly.

9. You catch yourself using the same lines your parents once told you.

10. Your "mom-mode" kicks in at times.

11. Your heart melts a little when they do something cute.

You'll never find any souvenirs with your name on it

1. You know you are up next when the teacher pauses while taking attendance

2. When “I’m going to do my very best to make sure I know all your names” is said, it may or may be an empty promise

3. “Wow! That sounds so cool! Where is your family from?”

4. You dread when people ask you to repeat your name over and over because it “sounds so cool when you say it”

5. There’s a 50/50 chance that your name will come back either correct or incorrect at Starbucks

6. People try to find shorter, easier nicknames for you instead of calling you by your actual name

7. When someone famous or fictional character shares your name, you get so happy

8. “What’s your name?” “It’s [name]” “I’m sorry, what was it again?”

9. You’ve pretty much seen every misspelling and heard every mispronunciation of your name throughout your life

10. When you find another person with an “ethnic” sounding name, you both get excited

11. Despite the struggles, your name is pretty unique… just like you

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?

Don't Be That Person

1. “Oh, so you/your family are immigrants!”

2. “Is Puerto Rico near Mexico?”

3. “Do you speak Puerto Rican?”

4. “You look too light/dark to be Puerto Rican.”

5. “Do I need my passport to go to Puerto Rico?”

6. “Geez, you are obsessed with your flag. We get it, you’re Puerto Rican.”

7. “Why are you so loud?”

8. “So does your family know English?”

9. “Oh my god, Puerto Ricans are so spicy.”

10. “So did you eat a lot of tacos?”

11. “Are you Mexican?”

Love hard, every day, and never be ashamed.

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