Last Friday, Rita Ora dropped her star-studded new single “Girls,” with the help of current pop powerhouses Bebe Rexha, Cardi B, and Charli XCX. With a poppy beat and a chorus you can’t get out of your head, this song has the potential to rise to one of the next “songs of the summer.” However, it has received considerable criticism from the LGBTQ+ community. While I am still not sure how I feel about it, the conversation that this song has sparked leads me to believe that our society is making progress in the right direction – not only to increased LGBTQ+ inclusivity, but also toward a more conscious respect for LGBTQ+ legitimacy.

With lyrics like “Sometimes, I just wanna kiss girls, girls, girls / Red wine, I just wanna kiss girls, girls, girls…” many have dubbed Ora’s song a “bisexual anthem” and nod to women out there who now feel more comfortable exploring their sexuality. But others have not been so pleased with the song, such as queer pop artists Kehlani and Hayley Kiyoko. Both took to Twitter last week to express their disappointment and concerns with the song. Hayley Kiyoko explained, “A song like this just fuels the male gaze while marginalizing the idea of women loving women.”

After so much backlash, Rita Ora publicly apologized for any harm done by the song, stating on Twitter: “I have strived to be a contributor to the LGBTQ+ community throughout my entire career and always will be.” Rita Ora knows that she messed up by putting out a song in 2018 which fuels the stereotypes of shallow female relationships echoed in Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” from 2008, and I respect her for coming out to publicly express her apologies. However, as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I am still not sure of my opinion on the song itself.

On one hand, I believe that any song created by well-known artists which brings visibility to the lives of LGBTQ+ people is absolutely wonderful. It not only contributes to the normalization of queer identities and relationships in our culture; it also gives those struggling with their own identities a reason to feel like they are not so alone. Speaking from experience, I can say that all of the artists who have taken the lead in making this cultural shift have made an incredibly positive impact on my life and confidence as a recently “out” lesbian.

However, the song has obvious flaws, some of which are extremely harmful to the legitimization of girls who actually want to kiss other girls (not just when they’re drunk on red wine or surrounded by guys at a party). As a girl who has completely legitimate relationships with other girls, these lyrics just perpetuate some of the parts of being a lesbian that bother me the most. No; I am not making up the fact that I am gay, I am not doing it for attention, and no; I don’t think it’s just a phase. I understand that it may just be a “phase” for some girls out there, but the song really overlooks the reality that I relate to.

Overall, there are definitely aspects of the song that frustrate me, because they reinforce the stereotypes and assumptions that make life harder for people like myself. At the same time, I still appreciate the positive intent behind it. I think the writers of the song wanted to bring more light to how our society is becoming more accepting of fluid sexuality, and I applaud that. It just appears that they forgot to think the lyrics all the way through and never realized that their goal of inclusivity was undermined by harmful exclusivity of significant members of the LGBTQ+ community, too.

We are all human (regardless of where we fall on the spectrum of sexuality), and we all make mistakes. Rita Ora and her “girl gang” of pop stars made one by failing to consider all possible implications of this song. However, I think that this mistake has produced a valuable public conversation which will help shape the politics around female sexuality in the music industry moving forward. Even if its path is complicated and controversial, I believe that pop music is on a trajectory to helping create a more inclusive, accepting, and legitimizing future for all people in our culture. I’m excited to see what artists like Rita Ora will do to make it happen.