Ah, April Fools Day, what happened to you? You used to be the staple of every kid's day ever. Now it doesn't feel the same.
This year I woke up and it was as if the world forgot about you. The day was bright and sunny, and there was no tomfoolery to be found. It was only when I saw videos showcasing recipes of meatball cupcakes for "pranking" did I realize what might have happened.
I could only assume you died.
Honestly, I'm surprised I almost forgot about you. While you weren't a huge part of my life, I could never forget you as Spongebob Squarepants's favorite holiday (and that was seriously one of the best episodes that show ever had, but that's beside the point). But as history shows, you were more than that.
You were celebrated by many cultures, yet your origin is still in question. Some say you were born in France when New Year's Day became January 1st as opposed to April 1st; people would often get fish to show how gullible they were for celebrating April 1st as New Year's Day. Others say you were first celebrated in ancient Rome with the festival of Hilaria, a holiday that commemorated the end of March by wearing disguises to fool people. But whether it was celebrated with creating phony errands, mysteriously changing weather patterns devised by Mother Nature, or any other kind of practical joke, there is one thing connecting all these cultures together. Human beings have an inclination to prank since the dawn of time.
But, for some reason, this April Fool's Day didn't have the same feel as it used to. The cruelest you had been this year was very late that night when I was watching TV. I was looking forward to a new episode of the re-boot of "Samurai Jack." Instead, I got the season three premiere of "Rick and Morty." Not that there was anything wrong with it, but was that the best you could come up with? It was pathetically predictable. From there I could only assume you were on your deathbed.
In hindsight, this wasn't your fault. It just so happened 2016 felt like the cruelest prank in the history of ever. All the death and disappointment just doesn't do it for people. They say good jokes not only require some pain and misery, but it also requires timing. And cruel pranks aren't exactly the vibe we're going for right now.
On top of that, I live in the Midwest, where weather mood swings are commonplace. It could be sunny and warm one moment only to be freezing and miserable the next. The amount of times I got common colds or felt iffy because of these changing weather patterns is too many to count. And trust me, by the amount of memes that showcase how messed up Midwest weather patterns are clearly shows I'm not the only one saying this. Furthermore, everyone's tired of it and would appreciate some consistency.
With that in mind, I think it's time to say goodbye. You had a good run, but I'm afraid the time has come. May you forever rest in peace, and may we remember you fondly, at least as fondly as you can get with your kick-me signs and mud-creme pies.