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Right This Moment...

My thoughts alone in my room.

30
Right This Moment...
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Right this moment I feel confused. Last year I was so strong and confident going to college and only cried for a few seconds before wiping my eyes and getting to know some of my possible classmates.

Right this moment I'm thinking that maybe I'm not as strong as I was last year. When I wipe away the tears this time my eyes are just refilled with water seconds after wiping away the last ones.

Right this moment I'm glad I'm alone in my room. Nobody questions whats wrong or why I'm not happy, then continues to spit out their diagnosis to what my problem is.

Right this moment I'm thinking about what I would be doing if I was at home. Maybe I would be watching television in my room or eating dinner with my family like we've done every night since I can even remember.

Right this moment I'm in my dorm room eating dinner alone while typing this article. Because none of the people I know very well aren't here and the people who are here already have made their cliques and bonds with others.

Right this moment I'm talking to people who are back home. We're talking about things they're doing without me or going to places that I have been before but can't go right now.

Right this moment I'm thinking about how the only thing I want to do is lay in bed. I wish I could go to sleep and then wake up in the morning and be forced to go outside and talk to specific people.

Right this moment I can't think straight. I suppose that's because I am the type of person who holds in everything until I explode, hence why the pinpointed area of me being upset is more than one hundred things.

Right this moment I question myself. I'm not sure why I want to go home because I love the school and the friends I've made here since last year.

Right this moment I realize something. As i'm looking at the various notes my parents left me before they left, every time I look at them it makes me more and more sad.

Right this moment I'm thinking of all the things I could be doing instead of crying. I still have stuff to unpack, stuff I need to print out, to pay some debts, etc.

Right this moment I'm thinking about the reactions. If people read this article then what will they think, and why would they read the article anyway.

Right this moment I'm becoming more calm. Thinking about the positives and how they ultimately outweigh all of the negatives.

Right this moment I feel nothing. I'm not sad anymore, yet I'm also not happy at the same time. The only word I could use to describe my feelings is tired.

Right this moment I stopped crying. My face is dry from the tears that just a few moments ago were flooding my eyes.

Right this moment I hope I'll be okay.

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