Let me start off by saying that in (most) other aspects of life, my roommate is a (relatively) rational and intelligent person. She gets good grades, eats healthier than I do, and seems to have a pretty solid understanding of the way the world works. But for some reason, she will basically believe anything she finds in an obscure YouTube video that's over 10 minutes long. Why? I don't know. Literally no one knows. I don't even think she knows why she believes some of the things that she learns on the Internet. But she does.
To some extent, everyone is familiar with conspiracy theories. “9/11 was an inside job", or “the Freemasons are working to establish a New World Order", or something of the sort about the Illuminati or the Skull and Bones Society. If you've never heard any of these things, you probably don't spend much time exploring the weird corners of the Internet, and you've definitely never met my roommate. I encourage you to do some quick Google searching, because some of these things have some background engrained in actual truthful history, and they can get pretty interesting.
But with every one true fact you find on a conspiracy website, there's about 45,000 claims that are absolutely outrageous and entirely false. So, in honor of my wonderful roommate telling me this week that she doesn't believe in vaccines because she heard they're bad for kids, here are my top 4 ridiculous things that my roommate has taught me about conspiracy theories.
There is a city on the moon
It's called Lunopolis, and it's home to half-giants and reptilian beings from an alternate dimension, who control the Illuminati and basically the world. Why doesn't anyone know about the city on the moon? Because it's mysteriously invisible when we look at the moon's surface with telescopes. Neil Armstrong saw it when he went to the moon, but NASA won't tell us about that. Now, this is actually the plot of a science fiction movie made in 2009. Science fiction. But the trailer looks pretty interesting, and the movie is free on Hulu, so I guess we can all decide for ourselves on this one.
What are half-giants and reptilians?
Well, it appears that a guy named David Icke (a well-known conspiracy theorist and someone I've been forced to watch way too many videos about) claims that shape-shifters “control Earth by taking on human form and gaining political power". (Thanks, Wikipedia). How did they get here from an alternate dimension? Area 51. That's right, mystery solved. Area 51 isn't used to study aliens, weapons, or really anything else we might expect. Instead, it acts as a portal to allow beings from an alternate dimension to enter our world. In fact, aliens aren't even real. What we “think" are aliens, is actually distractions created by the government, to divert attention away from their portal. In 1997, a man who supposedly worked at Area 51, called a radio show and told us everything. Again, you can make the call on whether you think this guy sounds remotely sane or trustworthy.
Justin Bieber is actually one of these reptilian humanoids, and he is completely under the control of the Illuminati.
Okay, I have to admit I definitely believed this one when I heard it. Like, that explains literally everything about Justin Bieber. He's vaguely demonic. It makes sense. I'd be lying if I said I didn't watch this YouTube video of Justin's eyes looking suspiciously reptilian at his deposition, at least 10 times.
Every president is pre-selected years in advance by the Illuminati.
Again, we can thank David Icke for this one, but I have to say that there might be some truth in here. Icke states in his book, The Biggest Secret, that all 44 U.S. Presidents are related, and 33 of them can trace their bloodlines back to Charlemagne, a Holy Roman Emperor. In 2012, this was confirmed by a 12-year-old girl in California, who spent months researching for a history project, and found that every president except Martin Van Buren shared one common ancestor: King John of England, who signed the Magna Carta in 1215. Okay, so this doesn't necessarily mean that they've all been hand-chosen by a shadow government, as we move toward a New World Order, but it's still interesting nonetheless.
I could literally extend this list to incorporate the 30+ theories and strange videos I've seen, as a consequence of my living choices, but I'll just leave it at these four, because no one else in the world has the attention span, or the mental capacity for nonsense that my roommate seems to possess. While she does occasionally provide me with small interesting truths, I'd like to leave this on the same note that I end every conspiracy conversation with: Do not believe everything you read on the internet.
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