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6 Of The Most Ridiculous Click-Bait Articles You Will Ever See

We've all seen some pretty terrible click-bait articles but these are just getting tragic

Parker Barry

Feb 14, 2017

University of Puget Sound

6 Of The Most Ridiculous Click-Bait Articles You Will Ever See

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1. "This Salad Quiz Will Reveal Who You Truly Are"

How on earth could the type of salad I or anyone else eats determine who I "truly" am? I'm pretty sure my deep hatred for croutons has nothing to do with my commitment issues.

2. "We Know How Tall You Are"

Is the first question on this quiz "how tall are you"? Because otherwise I highly doubt you know how tall I am. Also, what a commanding statement: "We Know How Tall You Are" -- are you writing this article from inside my house?

3. "Create A Subway Sandwich And We'll Guess Your Dream Job And Age"

This is just baffling to me. If you can seriously tell me what my dream job is based on my Subway order then I am truly amazed. I have no idea what my "dream job" is or what goals I should be setting once I graduate college so if you're telling me a $5 footlong is going to tell me how to live my life I will take it.

4. "Build A Salad and We'll Guess Your Age and Dream Job"

What is it with salads having all of the answers in life? And also why do all of these foods know what my dream job is?

5. "Which Sex Position You Should Try, Based on Your Ice Cream Order"

How? Why?

6. "Surprising Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Dump Old Pickle Juice Down The Drain"

Okay, this is too much. Why would anyone take the time out of their day to write an article solely about the preservation of old pickle juice?

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6 Of The Most Ridiculous Click-Bait Articles You Will Ever See

We've all seen some pretty terrible click-bait articles but these are just getting tragic

1. "This Salad Quiz Will Reveal Who You Truly Are"

2. "We Know How Tall You Are"

3. "Create A Subway Sandwich And We'll Guess Your Dream Job And Age"

4. "Build A Salad and We'll Guess Your Age and Dream Job"

5. "Which Sex Position You Should Try, Based on Your Ice Cream Order"

6. "Surprising Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Dump Old Pickle Juice Down The Drain"

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No matter how old you are.

1. Build a snowman

2. Start a snowball fight

3. Build a fort

4. Binge-watch Netflix

4. Look out the window

5. Grab coffee with a friend

6. Complete school or office work

7. Sleep

8. Read a book

9. Bake cookies

10. Drink hot cocoa

11. Go ice skating

12. Take a Walk

"I don't want to do things. I want to not do things."

1. When you look at the syllabus and realize there are only three weeks of the semester left; even though the first day was LITERALLY yesterday.

2. You look at your grades and realize they probably aren't as high as they should be, which is a terrifying realization.

3. When you think to yourself at night, "tomorrow, I will wake up early and go to the library ALL day, and, hell, maybe after I'll go to the gym for a little bit, just to push myself that extra mile."

4. Tomorrow actually comes. The inevitable and overpowering sense of procrastination is too strong to overcome.

5. But you DO end up going to the library. Not all day though, but still, a while. But no, you do not go to the gym. Still, you made an effort, so you decide to treat yo' self.

6. When you realize you need to schedule a meeting with your adviser because you need to sign up for classes next semester. But you also realize that since you waited until the last minute, you're going to get stuck with all of the crappy classes.

7. When you low-key try to slip into conversation with your professors that you need extra credit because you're that desperate.

8. When it's already the third time you've seen your adviser in two days because you have no damn clue what you're doing and need all the help you can get.

9. When you apply for a job associated with your major even though you have no experience, but you just want to dive headfirst into the deep end of adulthood and get it over with.

The world is not always sunshine and rainbows, and you do not have to be, either.

It would be so much easier to just pay someone to do it for you

1. Figuring out when to start

2. Searching through list after list to get everything you need

3. Shopping for deals

4. Getting bins to put everything in

5. Figuring what you can’t live without

6. Going through clothes to find what you need

7. Finding out your siblings took something from you

8. Fighting with your parents.

9. Trying to plan things with your roommate

10. The fear of forgetting something

11. Move in day

We all have that "I don't care" attitude.

1. Most students just take life day by day.

2. That means procrastinating, one day at a time.

3. College students don't mind dressing like crap sometimes.

4. In fact, dressing nice feels weird.

5. College students get so stressed that they contemplate dropping on a daily basis.

6. But most find another solution to deal with that stress.

7. And that solution can be pretty cheap. Anything over $5 is expensive.

8. One of the only things college students will spend money on is coffee.

9. College is just really expensive and you never forget how expensive it is.

10. But hey, we're getting a somewhat high-quality education, right?

11. We all really just want to pet dogs all day.

12. And eat pizza for every meal.

13. And stab the next person who asks us what we want to do with our life.

14. However, despite the stress and student loans, college is amazing and there's plenty of reasons to smile.

Thank you, April, for inspiring us with your wicked relatability.

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