The other day wen I was walking through the worn down, but freshly painted halls of my high school I heard someone say, "She's white. She must have money." I do not know what idiot said this, why they thought this was accurate, or who they were speaking about. All I know is that they are wrong. First of all, statistics prove that the majority of Americans who live in poverty are caucasian. Secondly, I am white and my family is white, but we are not even remotely well off.
Many people do not know this fact about me because I am not in poverty, I am just poor. I manage to find enough money when I desperately need new clothes, need to pay my school fees, and when I pay for field trips. Not only do I manage to do those things, but I am good at hiding my actual wealth. Many days at lunch I do not eat, well every day. I would eat, I am always starving, but I just never have enough money. Because my mom is a teacher I do not qualify for free lunch because she "makes too much", but she does not have enough money to give me for lunch. Therefore, I just don't eat, and I tell people that I am just going to stuff my face when I get home. This, also, is a rare occurance. We don't keep very much food at the house except for right after grocery shopping. I do, however, eat after school, it is just never enough to fill me up.
The fact that I am a senior this year does not help with my money situation. My cap and gown by itself is over $100, my family cannot afford that, but we have to order it by January for it to be guaranteed my size. I guess I may jut not have one in my size. Also, just a few days ago I filled out my need based financial aid information for my dream school, University of Richmond. When I went to submit it it said that I must pay $25 to submit it. I almost didn't. Why should I have to pay to receive financial aid? Obviously I need money, I cannot fruitless spend it. Eventually, I talked myself into taking it out of my savings account so that I could submit the form.
One exception to my economic status is shown during Christmas. Every year for Christms my familiy manages to go all out. This is because my step dad's birthday is Christmas Eve, so he is partial to the money eating holiday. The only problem with this is that sometimes they go too overboard with their spending. Last year was the epitome of this because they are still paying off their debt from that merry day. Because of this bottomless debt they seemed to land themselves into, we are not having an aactual Christmas this year. They said there will be a few presents, but not very many. I don't mind this too much, it will just be odd. I am, however, going to spend at least $100 of my check to buy them something for Christmas. I feel like they deserve it for always spending over $1,000 on me.
Sometimes I dream about having a lot of money. I dream of a new house that's biger than just one story, and a new car that's something like a Scion. I dream of feeding my dogs better grain free food and I dream of being able to afford to take them to the vet for anything. I dream of drinking name brand soda instead of the Kroger brand genric. I dream of the little things. I dream of being able to go bowling with my familiy, and my boyfriend, once a month. I dream of having enough money so that I can buy the barf tasting school lunch because it always tastes a little bit better when your stomach won't stop screaming. I just dream of being able to be like all the others who I surround myself with, with the exception of a few.
The most important dream I have is that one day people will not stereotype race and economic status. Just because someone is white, it does not mean they are rich. Just because someone is black or Hispanic, it does not mean they are poor either. Skin color has nothing to do with he amount of money the hold in their name. Skin color does not determine anything, but the color of skin.
