September, 2018, is the third annual Rheumatic Disease Awareness Month. I want to raise awareness of rheumatic diseases, mainly because I feel they are very misunderstood diseases and people are not well enough informed of just what it's like for the millions of people who suffer.
Empathy, I believe, is one of the most important qualities to learn. If you are able to be truly empathetic, you will be able to go a long way in relationships, and you will be better able to connect and understand others.
If you're having a bad day at work – let's say you have a headache, or menstrual cramps, or you've just had a fight with your significant other – you want others to be understanding of you, right? If you're a bit short with your coworker, or your friend, or your sibling, you want them to cut you some slack, don't you? Well, imagine that every day you wake up with stiff joints, and you go off to a job where you're on your feet all day. Imagine that your knees are killing you, your hips are killing you, and your hands are killing you. Imagine unbearable pain and irritability. During the day, you start to get a little cranky because you really just want to rest, but your job won't allow it. Your coworkers are getting annoyed at you because they think you're in a bad mood. They start getting short with you, and you notice that some of them talk about you. After a long day at work, your friend asks you to go for a bike ride. Not only do you have to decline the invitation because you are in excruciating pain, you've turned down a chance to spend time with someone you care about.
It probably seems like every day life is a terrible struggle. People can see that you're in pain, and people can see that you're cranky, but they don't see any deeper than that. Others notice your misery and suffering, but they don't understand, and they don't bother trying. Perhaps your family doesn't realize how left out you feel. Having severe physical pain comes with limitations in what activities you can participate in, and with fatigue comes a loss of energy. If people don't take the time to understand those who suffer, the ones who suffer are going to be alone. They are going to feel alone and like a burden. It is worth it to understand others. Sometimes you have no idea what someone is going through, and if you only bother to see the surface of their struggles, you're leaving them alone and misunderstood.
I'm going to offer some advice to those who know someone suffering from a rheumatic disease. I am not a doctor, and I do not know what it's like to suffer from chronic pain firsthand, but I have empathy and want to encourage others to learn empathy, as well.
First of all, if a member of your family or a loved one is suffering from a rheumatic disease, don't suggest activities that they won't be able to do. If you are in a group, don't suggest a physical activity that everyone will jump on board with except the person suffering. They will feel left out, and like a burden.
Second of all, learn patience. If someone you know is suffering, don't get offended or take it personal if they snap at you. Chances are they aren't really upset with you, they are just in a lot of pain. Most importantly, don't snap back at them…it will only make them feel worse. Just treat them kindly, and chances are they will come around when they realize you're not going anywhere. If you can show them that you'll stay by their side even when they're at a low point, you're probably helping their emotional state more than you know.
Last, be helpful. If you notice someone who has a rheumatic disease is working too hard, such as lifting something heavy, bending down on their knees, or has been on their feet for too long, offer them a break. Lift the heavy box for them. Show them that you acknowledge they are suffering, and that it matters to you. I believe a lot more people could feel less alone and more loved and understood if people were able to think about more than themselves and their own problems.
During this month and always, let's help spread awareness of rheumatic diseases and do a little more to help others feel less alone.
