UC Berkeley was recently in the news for the protest that occurred on Friday, October 21, which involved dozens of students blocking Sather Gate in order to protest the administration’s disregard and misplacement of people of color as well as trans and queer folks. According to The Daily Californian, their specific grievances involved the lack of adequate and accessible spaces for their clubs to meet on campus, as both the Queer Alliance Resource Center and the bridges Multicultural Center are currently designated to meet in the basement of Eshleman Hall. During the demonstration, which lasted several hours, the protesters told the oncoming students who actually go to class on Friday to make the agonizing detour over one of the many bridges that are available nearby. They reportedly let disabled students through.
In reality, there are many ways to begin a measured discussion on discrimination, safe spaces, institutionalized racism, misused public funds, and the whether or not going to class on Friday makes you lame. We won’t cover that today, though - we’re going to talk about how a large faction of people who never attended Berkeley made the choice to enter the discourse by leaving one-star reviews on Berkeley’s official Facebook page.
Sounds normal.
“I'm truly disappointed in an institution of higher learning that would allow a group to behave in this manner. I went to college to get an education, to better myself, to become aware of other cultures and become a better citizen, not to act like a self-serving hyprocrit (sic), whine and be a hateful person. Shame on you UC Berkeley. You are not encouraging your students to be inspired in greatness, but rather in bigotry and racism.” - Bonnie, TX
5/10 Stars: Started out strong, but lost steam at the end. While “self-serving” does a good job of painting the picture, “hypcrit” (sp) muddles it, as that descriptor relies on context in order to convey the exact nature of the hypocrisy. I will give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she is making the claim that while queer people and people of color are protesting discriminatory practices, they are at the same time discriminating against white people, despite the fact that they weren’t targeting white people at all. Wait, did I say I’d give her the benefit of the doubt? I meant to say that I’d just assume she was being kinda racist. Maybe that’s unfair, but it’s pretty much the only way her comment becomes coherent. Note that I did not deduct stars for lack of Oxford comma, because even though I personally believe in the Oxford comma, I understand that not everyone does.
“This is one of the leading places for dumbing down our next generation, and now they are one of the top racist universities in the world. UCB encourages students to hate others based on the color of their skin. I will never send my children to this cesspool of censorship and degradation of thought. All you do is divide people you do nothing to bring them together. You are part of the problem, you are evil.” - Jason, Houston TX
8/10 Stars: Conceptually, the idea of an institution being the leading place for dumbing down a generation is interesting. Like, you kind of have to admire all these people’s hard work, even if it’s in the exact wrong direction. Kind of how like Drew from the Chainsmokers wrote that one tweet that was mean to Halsey and then spent the next day tweeting even more offensive things to make it seem like he was hella hacked. It didn't really convince anyone and now everyone is like, "we must protect Halsey! Drew sucks!" We must and he does.
Anyway, that kind of vivid imagination earns this particular review 8 stars. Stars were also awarded for the consonance in “cesspool of censorship,” but taken away for the disappointing lack of alliteration in “degradation of thought.” This review needed more alliteration and more discussion of the evil/good binary system!
“Lol how does this school have so many good reviews when it promotes stupidity. Why is this place still around. UIC is better then this place and that's saying something. Why not go to a real school like Harvard or Princeton instead of wasting your time here?” - Arsal, person with Internet
9/10 Stars: Would have been 10/10 for the groundbreaking suggestion to just “go to a real school like Harvard or Princeton,” but I had to deduct a star because Arsal forgot a question mark in the first and second sentences. Will you be admitted to Harvard or Princeton without properly marking your rhetorical questions? Probably not. Will you get in even if you do? Probably not.
“Shameful. Dr Martin Luther King fought for civil rights and equality. He did it with peace, and DIGNITY. He fought against the very segregation you intellectual miscreants are now demanding. How simply pathetic you have all become. A generation of whiners, those that can't bear to do something hard so you demand someone changed it for you. Pathetic. And MLK, is turning over in his grave right now.” - Chad, MLK Expert
7/10 Stars: This review is as riveting and impassioned as Roger Ebert and you can tell by the way he uses all caps. Deducted stars for improper use of “changed,” “segregation,” “something hard,” and the comma splice. Also, I’m personally offended at the suggestion that I have only recently become “simply pathetic.” I came out of the womb rashy, pale, and pedantic, and I will not abide by anything that says otherwise!
“Disgusting racist campus!!! They allow discrimination against white students go un punished. This place should be a dump in 10 years” - Kyle, Dumpster Diver
7.5/10 Stars: I see you, Kyle. You are super psyched about the idea of Berkeley becoming a dump - and you know what? I don’t blame you. Even though I personally don’t enjoy rifling through trash, I do hate racist things, especially racist campuses! Like when I'm walking through the Glade and the sound of the wind through the grass literally says "vote for Trump" - I hate that! Or when there are totem poles on campus carved by a white man to depict the tragedy of a white family's personal struggles. Oh wait, that's a different campus. Still, though!
“Berkeley is one of the worst colleges in the United States! I would never send my children to this school! Their faculty teaches racism, hate, violence, and socialism. The protests reported recently against white people spawned by their faculty is proof! Do not send your children to this school if you believe in US traditions and the United States Constitution. Enough is enough!” - Jamey, thinks the US Constitution discussed socialism
9/10 Stars: Jamey is absolutely right. See, you might have read that Berkeley was recently ranked the 4th Best University in the World by the U.S. News & World Report, but that list is actually completely misleading and wrong. What the mainstream media won’t tell you is that the world actually only has four universities and they are all in America, so being ranked fourth is a huge slap in the face.
“White segregation? Is this the way to go to make the world a better place?”
10/10 Stars: For missing the point.
Read the reviews for yourself here.
