Imagine having a wonderful day full of sunshine and smiles. Then imagine going home and eating a delicious meal. Then imagine a man coming into your home, stealing the fork and knife from your hands, and shoving them into your eyeballs. That is how I felt while watching the horrendous theatrical display known as “Super Bowl 50.” The National Football League’s latest stage production opened (and rightfully closed) on Sunday night at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California. Needless to say, I was not entertained.

The evening started off rather promising with a rousing rendition of our National Anthem from Stefani Germanotta. If the performance maintained this quality, perhaps it would have been a watchable show. Unfortunately, immediately following the opening number, a good portion of the cast assembled on the stage in a huddle for what seemed like an eternity. This was terrible staging. I could not see what was going on and the dialogue was muffled.

Eventually, the company spread out to display their bright, hideous costumes. They soon moved into a 15-minute dance number. With choreography by Mike Shula, Sean McDermott, Rick Dennison and Wade Phillips; this number (entitled “First Quarter”) was mediocre at best. Aside from some beautiful kicks from Brandon McManus, the number was simply sloppy. There was an abundance of poorly executed moves by the actors portraying the "Panthers".

In an incredibly unoriginal fashion, immediately following "First Quarter", was an eerily similar "Second Quarter." Even though the "Panthers" actually learned their choreography for this number, it did not provide any assistance to the overall quality of the performance.

To be fair, there were some excellent individual performances in this particular number. Jonathan Stewart wowed the crowd with a dazzling leap over the other dancers. Mr. Peyton Manning and Cam Newton established a rivalry between their characters that was very believable. Still, the show until this point had been nothing but unimpressive.

Just when I thought there was no hope left, along came the saving grace of this show. In an innovative theatrical moment, director Roger Goodell made the excellent decision to feature a stellar performance from Chris Martin, Bruno Mars and Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, during intermission.

Backed by two veterans of the "Super Bowl" productions, newcomer Chris Martin left the audience breathless with a colorful display encouraging people to "Believe in Love." The production value of this number alone was worth the ticket price. However, Goodell followed this up with a terrible decision to take Martin, Mars and Knowles off the stage and never feature them again for the rest of the show.

I had lost all interest by the time the second act began.

Upon analysis of act one, I realized that a plot had yet to be established. There were a lot of men running full speed at one another. Perhaps a war? Maybe act two will give me more.

Act two did not give me more.

Run. Run. Throw the ball. Drop the ball. Pick up the ball. Run. Run. etc. Shocking as it may be, there were only two songs in act two, and they were called "Third Quarter" and "Fourth Quarter."

If I had to describe "Super Bowl 50" in one word, that word would be: atrocious. I am being generous with that description. This show was like an obscure interpretation of West Side Story where there was little competition and the Jets were incredibly dominant over the Sharks. The production was heavily advertised to feature "dabbing", but there was minimal dabbing to be seen.

I will give Mr. Manning the recognition he deserves for getting through what is likely to be his final performance in the NFL. He received a well deserved standing ovation at curtain call. My hat goes off to him. As for the show itself, I cannot recommend it less. Luckily, the production only had one performance. However, it is rumored that CBS bootlegged the show. I strongly advise you to not seek out this bootleg!

The NFL has already announced that their next theatrical extravaganza, "Super Bowl 51", will open on February 5, 2017 at NRG Stadium in Houston, Texas. Casting has yet to be announced.