Even though many of us had good reason to stop wearing lipgloss a while ago, makeup companies, gurus and highly influential celebrities such as Kylie Jenner, have the audacity to bring this disgustingly sticky product back into our lives. Here are some reasons as to why I am definitely not ready for the return of gloss:
1. Stickiness.
Lipgloss is sticky. Sticky is icky. There really isn't a better way for me to put it. How do you even live your day to day life when your mouth is tacky in more ways than one? How do you kiss people? You don't! You can't! I would like to keep all sticky things away from me forever. No thank you. I'm all set.
2. Matte lips.
I am not over the matte lip. I am not ready for something new. If it's not broken, don't fix it! The ultra matte lip is just rising to power, and I believe it deserves a longer period of time in the spotlight.
3. All of the lies.
There have been so many promises made. "Lipgloss isn't sticky anymore," the makeup gurus say. "This gloss is super pigmented." I simply can't believe them. Never have I ever met a lipgloss that wasn't sticky. Never have I ever seen a pigmented gloss that wasn't streaky.
4. Re-application.
We're all better than this. How did we go from the magnificent creation of transfer-proof products back to this cycle of constant reapplication. Show me a transfer-proof gloss and I might be on board.
5. Windy days.
Honestly, did everyone forget why we tossed away all of our beauty rush glosses in the first place? Do we all really want to go back to pulling hair off of our lips? Do we really want to go back to holding our hands over our mouth when we are outside on a windy day? Is that what we want?
6. Money.
I am not financially prepared for all of these companies introducing new gloss formulas. I bought so many matte lipsticks just last year. Who is actually financially stable enough to keep up with beauty trends?
7. Food.
If you can eat with lipgloss on and not end up with sticky hands, then I bow down to you. I, for one, do not have that skill and am therefore ill-prepared for the return of lipgloss. Plus, how does one avoid crumbs getting stuck to their lips forever?
8. Tingling?
So many companies think it is okay to add tingly ingredients into their glosses without labeling them as plumping products. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't enjoy surprise burning sensations.
9. Stickiness.
I know I started this list with the same exact point, but that just shows how strongly I feel about the stickiness of lipgloss. Sticky is icky. I do not think it is the right time for lipgloss to come back. I do not think there will ever be a right time for lipgloss to come back. Maybe at a 90s-themed party. Maybe in your #tbt on Instagram. Not in real life.
