Nearly two weeks ago, I went on a retreat with my floor, the Dorothy Day Living Learning Community. We left campus around 2:30 PM on Friday and arrived at Camp Minikani a half hour later. Prior to leaving campus, I was completely convinced the retreat would be pointless and a waste of my time. As a product of a private Catholic high school, I have experienced my fair share of retreats, most of which did nothing for me or my class. I know that it was very close-minded of me to go into the retreat with that type of attitude, but I was giving up a chunk of my time when I could have been reading for classes or studying for quizzes.

Our first activity involved getting to know everyone, their names, their majors, etc. Then we transitioned into playing a game where we had to throw a ball around and then throw it back in the same order we threw it. This was changed to just throwing the ball in under 20 seconds, which then evolved into doing it under 10 seconds. This specific activity brought out the leader in many people. Now that may sound like a good thing, but it was actually terrible. People trudged along trying to get to the goal of under 10 seconds and dragged those reluctant to meet the goal along with them. Furthermore, people kept throwing out ideas that were automatically shut down or ignored. It was just a frustrating and tedious experience. What started out as a fun ice breaker had turned into a boring and vexing activity.

By the time we walked to the mess hall to eat dinner, tensions were tangible. It wasn't made any better when people made negative comments about the food. This only made some people even more upset with the retreat. Our next few activities involved learning more about our floor's namesake, Dorothy Day, and doing "I Am..." poems. People began to open up and we had a few tears here and there. We became honest with ourselves and the demons we had and I found that to be such a blessing. We got to know people the deepest thoughts of people we've been sleeping on the same floor with for two weeks. After this activity, we got back to the fun, playful floor we were before we got to the camp. Our last official activity of the night was making smores with a bonfire, which we seemed to struggle to start.

On a little, unrelated side note, I grew up building fires so I thought it was comical when people rallied around the bonfire area and tried to help get it started. Now you know one of my many talents; I can start fires.

When everyone made their way back to the main hall, we stayed in the common room and reveled in each others' company. We played Cards Against Humanity, jumped on the couches, pretending the floor was lava, we did some actual bonding with everyone on the floor. Needless to say, I went to sleep happy with the outcome of the day.

The next morning, we had breakfast and then we partnered up with people we didn't know too well. Our task was to get to know the person while we walked around the campgrounds. I have to say that, to me, this was definitely one of the best parts about the retreat. I was able to get to know people on a more personal level and I had the chance to open up to people that I'd be living with for the next few months.

Much of what we talked about was personal, so I won't mention it in the article, but I can say that it was relieving. I felt a weight fall off my shoulders as I confessed things I'd never told anyone before. I revealed my feelings about home, my friends there, but especially my feelings about myself and the goals I have. The final activity was to take a stance on a statement. We had to agree or disagree by moving left or right on a matrix and move up or down the matrix to show how important we felt the statement was to the community. This was a great experience as well because we discussed things that showed that although we have the same desire to fight for social justice, we don't necessarily have the same opinions. Throughout this part of the retreat, I was feeling highly emotional about a lot of what was being said. I made my opinions and views known when I felt the urge to speak and no one judged me harshly for it. Eventually, the retreat ended after the activity and lunch and we made our way back to Straz.

So why did I tell you about my retreat? Why did I recount this experience as an article?

Well, I honestly never felt so in touch with myself ever. I opened up to people and said what I had on my mind for nearly 19 years of my life. I talked about things I never trusted with even my closest of friends back home. I said it once, twice, thrice and now I'll say it a fourth time: I truly love everyone in Dorothy Day. We all have a desire to bring about a change, to fight for social justice. We see what's wrong with the world and are more than ready to put ourselves on the front lines to start conversations, and as I put in my "I Am..." poem, move mountains and shape continents. For once in my life, I feel like I've found the place where I belong and the retreat helped me to further realize that.