Unlike any previous year of my life, I have decided to be single in 2019!!!
Re-enactment of my friends' reactions to the previous statement. https://giphy.com/gifs/happy-leonardo-dicaprio-cheers-QMkPpxPDYY0fu
This came as a huge shock to my friends as they all know I tend to be a bit boy-crazy. Okay, I'll admit, a lot boy-crazy. Since I turned 13, there have only been 24 months that I've been single. And these 24 months were not consecutive or wanted. During the entirety of my teen life, I have constantly been looking for a relationship, asking friends to set me up, or telling them the newest crush I had developed in French class.
At the end of 2018, I sat myself down, evaluated my life, and came to the conclusion that I, Amanda Sheehan, am a Serial Monogamist. That's when I cried.
I cried because "Serial Monogamist" is quite possibly the least sexy title to have as a college student in 2019. I was cried because having been in so many relationships may have been a negative thing after all this time. I decided right then and there that this would be my year of chosen solidarity. Just me, myself, and I against the universe. Figuring out who I am without a man and coming into my own skin as a college woman.
This lasted exactly two weeks.
https://giphy.com/gifs/shrug-shrugging-leo-dicaprio-KYNywoibU1PQ4
Yes, you may roll your eyes. I'm fed up with myself as well. I got myself into yet another long-term relationship two weeks into my man-cleanse. While I was confident in my choice to be in a relationship at the beginning, I grew more and more unsure as time went on. Was this really what I wanted? Eventually, the answer became no and I did what I thought I had to do. I broke up with him and retired from my title as Head of the Serial Monogamists.
You may think this was a selfish choice and there are days I do, too. But the fact of the matter is, I wasn't happy anymore. And as much as it hurt losing a best friend and a boyfriend, it had to be done.
Since coming out of that relationship, I have felt more like myself than I ever have before. I go to yoga regularly, I have rekindled my love for writing, and I purposefully make time for every aspect of my life. On top of that, I'm not on any dating apps, I don't make an effort to flirt with guys, and I certainly will not let my grandmother set me up with her hairdresser's son. Even if it is just to let a nice boy buy me a coffee. While everything else in my "professional" life is so hectic, I've enjoyed feeling grounded with myself and I don't want to change the vibe I have going on right now.
So here's to the single people who are choosing to be by themselves for themselves. You are not being selfish, you do not owe anyone an explanation, and you definitely should not feel guilty for making this decision. You do you, sis, and enjoy every moment of it. After all, it could accidentally only last two weeks.
https://giphy.com/gifs/dancing-jimmy-fallon-justin-timberlake-xTiTniEcacbApVngeA
