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Retail Workers Thoughts During The Holidays

Our least favorite time of the year

Trystan Williams

Nov 28, 2016

West Virginia University

Retail Workers Thoughts During The Holidays

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Ah, the holidays a.k.a. every retail worker's worst nightmare. Between the extended hours (this means less sleep), the rushing done by the customers, and the crazy sales that seem to be going on until Christmas, this season sure is crazy for those who work in retail. Although it may be the season of giving for most, it is the season of hell for us.

1. Where did all of these people come from?

Yes, I do realize that the holidays are quickly approaching, but I do not remember us being this busy last year, or even last week for that matter. It is like everyone woke up and randomly decided today is the day to buy gifts for everyone

2. What are the special promotions again today?

I swear they change every two hours at this point, it is extremely hard to keep up

3. Why are people in the store at 8 a.m.?

Sure I realize we are technically "open" but my mind is not yet ready to be nice and friendly, let alone help you find the perfect gift for your child.

4. Will there be a time when nobody is in the store and I can just have a minute to myself?

I miss normal retail traffic when I could at least hear myself think for the most part

5. Please get me out of this store alive

Something about the holidays just makes everyone so much crankier, isn't this supposed to be the season of joy?

6. I am not sure what the perfect gift for your child would be

Please stop asking me this, I am not sure what your 12 year old son would love to wear

7. I need my freaking coffee

The only thing that is getting me through this shift

8. Wow, can't wait to do this 20 more times until this season is finally over!!

I'm literally counting down

9. Would I get punched if I punch this customer? Is it worth the risk?

I think it might be worth the risk, so over this lady

10. I do not want to be here any more than you do sir

Yes I understand your wife sent you out to pick up the gifts but I assure you, I probably want to be here even less than you do

11. Can't wait until this season is over

I have had enough of this to get me to next November.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Retail Workers Thoughts During The Holidays

Our least favorite time of the year

1. Where did all of these people come from?

2. What are the special promotions again today?

3. Why are people in the store at 8 a.m.?

4. Will there be a time when nobody is in the store and I can just have a minute to myself?

5. Please get me out of this store alive

6. I am not sure what the perfect gift for your child would be

7. I need my freaking coffee

8. Wow, can't wait to do this 20 more times until this season is finally over!!

9. Would I get punched if I punch this customer? Is it worth the risk?

10. I do not want to be here any more than you do sir

11. Can't wait until this season is over

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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