I paid my dues to the food industry for the first five or six years of my life, and just this past year, I've taken the plunge into retail. It's definitely been different, but I think the experience has been a positive one...for the most part.
Like with any job, retail has its snags, and with those snags come those darn intrusive thoughts that nearly every retail employee has had at some point:
1. "There is a rack for you to put your clothes on RIGHT THERE, KAREN."
And yet, she still just throws all her crap on the table for you to deal with :) And everyone else follows her lead :)
2. "I'm not going to buy any new clothes. I have plenty. I don't need anym--WAIT, WHAT'S THAT?!"
3. "I sound like a high-pitched squeaky robot. Who even is customer service me?"
4. "Humanity is terrible and I hate everyone."
Usually thought after a particularly bad experience with a customer or after someone comes in five minutes to close.
5. "Sure...set your things down on the counter in front of me, even though I'm clearly doing closing down this register."
Really. I LOVE IT.
6. "IF I HAVE TO EMPTY THIS HANGER TRANSPORTER ONE MORE TIME."
7. "If there's no customers left in the store, would it really be so bad to close early?"
Sadly, we have responsibilities and standards. Ugh.
8. "Who do these people think they are showing up right when we open? Were y'all waiting outside or something?"
9. "Yes, just leave your clothes in the dressing rooms when you're all finished. It's fine."
NEED I POINT OUT THE GO-BACK RACKS AGAIN?
10. "Did this tag just fall off of something or did someone steal something?"
And do I have the time to go all Sherlock Holmes?
11. "Oh, this isn't so bad right now. I thought it was going to be busy."
12. "SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING. MUCH REGRET."
13. "Where do all of our short-sleeves go? Do women buy them all? Is it a black hole? Who knows?"
The mystery that keeps me up at night.
14. "Please just send me to the back where I can drink my iced coffee in peace and not be bothered by anyone."
15. "How much of my paycheck just ends up going back to this store?"
Majority, probably.
16. "If someone put out my hold bag, I will LITERALLY CRY."
Clothes are the only thing that brings me joy.
17. "I better have a good closing team tonight, or I'm walking out."
18. "My fashion sense has drastically improved since I started working here."
19. "It's two minutes past close, please leave now."
20. "My coworkers are dummies, but they're my dummies."
Well, most of them anyway.
21. "Do I have enough time to get coffee before my break ends?? Screw it, I'm getting coffee before my break ends.
22. "This place is my f*cking favorite."
Usually after my boss buys us pizza and leaves it in the break room for us.
23. "Okay, I guess I kind of love my job."
