On Election Day, I wrote and posted a short story on Facebook of a 10 year old girl who’d wanted Hillary Clinton to win the presidency in 2008; of course, seeing as that did not happen, her father reassured her by reminding her that, hey, if Hillary runs again in 2016, you’ll be 18 years old and can vote for her.

That little girl was me, and I did, in fact, vote for Hillary Clinton.

But my childish excitement was quickly transformed into a deep sadness as I watched Trump reach 270 electoral votes, which led to an overnight spike in instances of interpersonal racism, sexism, Islamophobia, etc. across the country. I sobbed, along with my roommate, along with the other girls in my dorm, along with my entire school and community.

I’ve been making a lot of long and winded Facebook posts lately, because I’m not sure how else to express my feelings. The people I'd go to, my close friends and family, aren't really within physical reach these days, since we've all gone off to college. I just can’t comprehend how someone can comfortably vote for the man who talked about “grabbing women by the pussy”, banning all Muslims, Mexicans being rapists, and so on and so forth. It’s one thing to like a candidate’s policies over another, but what has the success of this bigot incited in America? More harassment of minorities on the streets, if these first few days are anything to go by. People I personally know have experienced this cruelty.

I’ve seen people point out that these kinds of things happen all the time, and, frankly, that’s probably the most dismissive statement I’ve heard in the midst of all this. You’re saying it’s okay for these things to happen because they’re normal? You’re literally normalizing hate by saying this. Also, your statement doesn’t even hold much power, anyway, because people don’t just call out minorities on the street for whatever reason most of the time; now they have an excuse to, because Trump said he’s going to deport this group, Trump said he’s going to ban another group, Trump said he’d have sex with basically any woman, including his daughter, Trump said…

I could continue until I’m blue in the face. But seeing as some people still managed to vote for and defend his beliefs--he, the man who literally said he’d have sex with his daughter if she wasn’t his daughter; he, the man who actually had to be put on “time-out” from his Twitter account because he has a worse temperament than a seven year old, yet claimed to be more composed than his very calm political opponent; he, the man whose victory has instilled fear in millions of minorities across the country and the world, whose victory has led to many of my own friends and family grieving the fact that half of their beloved America has voted for a man who has disrespected and assaulted members of their communities--has left me stunned with a feeling of estrangement by my own country.

Most people wouldn’t say or do something to me because of my identity or background, thanks to my geographic location within the country and personal circles. Or so I thought. Now I don’t even want to go outside, because the color of my skin is very misleading, so who knows what people will assume I am and then proceed to say to me? My heart is heavy. I feel cast out by my fellow Americans. I trusted so many of you...and, yet, you voted for the man who has called the Philippines, the people of my race, straight-up terrorists.

I can’t trust you anymore. I can’t trust my own country anymore.

Where do I go from here?

I feel sick.

The best part about this is you’re probably feeling personally attacked right now, because I’m blaming “all” Trump supporters for thinking like him, or whatever the argument is right now. (If I see any more of it on my Facebook feed, I’ll probably storm one of your posts at this rate.) Hmm, how I wonder how it feels to be disrespected by your peers, your fellow Americans? How it feels to be generalized? How it feels to be hated by a large part of your country?

What a cruel, cruel irony. At least yours isn’t an indication that you don’t deserve to live here, in this country, and are “lesser” in comparison to the white man and woman. Which is why people are reacting the way they are, through protests.

The fact that people are sweeping aside the public outcry to Trump’s victory as unimportant and simple “whining” speaks volumes to me.

First, since you’re usually of the kind to also use the First Amendment as your defense when stating a public opinion, we’re allowed to protest, thanks. Protesting has gotten a lot of things in this country, such as women’s suffrage, civil rights for black people, etc. This can get us something now, too.

Secondly, and I’ve mentioned this on Facebook before, but, unless I’m mistaken...people don’t really get this upset after presidential elections historically. In the two years I studied American history in high school, I don’t recall reading about anything quite like this happening after a presidential election, and I’m pretty sure these past few days will be making their way into history books in the next few years or so. I mean, this is my first election, but I think I’m just supposed to shrug off a loss as, “Man, that sucks!” not, “Oh my God, the man who called my people terrorists and chose a running mate who believes in conversion therapy was actually voted into office by my fellow Americans. What does this mean for people like me? Am I safe?”

Just kind of going out on a limb here, but I think this isn’t how I’m supposed to feel after an election. And it seems like most older members of minority communities have never been this upset after any presidential election, Democrat or Republican. It’s not a party issue. This is a values issue, a safety issue. I didn’t know after losing a political race I was supposed to receive messages, addressing me as an asexual woman of color, intended to reassure me, telling me I’m still loved and accepted. I appreciate the reassurances and I love you, too, but I don’t think this is the typical way members of the losing side are treated after an election. And that really scares me.

Thirdly, should I even bring up Trump’s contradicting and hypocritical tweets? From the 2012 election in comparison to now? We’ve already established he was literally banned from his own Twitter account because he couldn’t control himself, right?

(Did you guys seriously just elect a preschooler into the presidency? I don’t know whether to be impressed or saddened.)

And now you think we’re whining because we’re protesting? Damn, at least we’re actually getting up off of our asses to make our voices heard rather than just shouting into the void of Twitter in all caps. Who’s the real crybaby here, hmm?

Every time I think I’m ready to end this article and cease roasting half of the country, I just keep thinking of other reasons I’m upset; I can’t stop writing. Though this is only a small way to make my voice heard, I’m hoping it helps my own sanity. Because the only other time I called my parents in tears was the day after I moved out, as I missed them so much already. The “days since cried to parents over the phone” number has fallen back to below ten, because election night left me trying to comfort others while needing to be comforted myself.

I’ll leave you with one final point, addressing the idea that “oh, woe is me, America is so divided, everyone calm down, we need to unite!”

This looks pretty apparent on social media, but I’ve been seeing a lot more of the opposite, actually.

Different minorities are coming together to support each other. Just a few days ago, I attended a meeting on-campus hosted by the black student union, featuring many members from Latinx, Asian, LGBTQ+, interfaith, and artistic clubs on campus, because everyone has their own reasons to be upset and feel threatened by this election. Did we play a game of “give me the most pity” because of our differences?

No.

Because this is the time to be united, like Obama, Hillary, and even Trump himself have said. The election is over, we can’t change what happened. So it’s time to support one another.

Trump supporters, if you really don’t agree with what Trump has been saying over the course of his campaign about minorities, THEN PROVE IT. This is your chance to HELP THESE MINORITIES. Step in when you see harassment on the streets. Protect your minority friends and family.

These are HUMAN BEINGS before they are anything else. “LGBTQ+ rights”, “POC rights”, “women’s rights”...these are all human rights. We have this strange idea of the white, straight, cisgendered man being the standards for “human rights”, and will call anything outside of that something else, as if it’s actually different. But it’s not.

You want us, the members of minorities, to believe you still love us. Then stand with us. Help us. When stuff starts happening next year, help us protect each other. I know I will fight before anyone could lay a hand on my undocumented, Muslim, black, Latino and LGBTQ+ peers.

Would you do the same?