Oh resting bitch face, how you are slowly ruining my life. While the term 'RBF' may be a common term now-a-days but, I've been living with it for the past twenty-something years completely misunderstood. So, I dedicate this to you, those of you who were blessed with what I would like to call 'Resting Sociopath Face' (RSF).

First, let me start by saying yes, everything is fine. No, nothing is the matter and yes, I am sure. I just look like this. I have no control that my mouth naturally tilts downward into a frown instead of upward in a smile like most people. I'll admit I am not exactly a naturally happy person per se. I'm more of what I like to think of as a naturally annoyed person. I start out the day annoyed and it's the world's job to bring things up from there, and let me tell you, that doesn't happen very often. Remember that teacher in high school that announced that everyone starts the class with a grade of an 'A' and it was your job to keep it up? With me, it is the exact opposite- and I grade on a curve. Maybe this is why my face looks the way it does all of the time. I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like my current annoyed status has absolutely no relation to my RBF. Sometimes I'm having a really great day, or even just an averagely normal- nothing going on type day and here comes someone with the third degree trying to get the scoop on why I'm so upset. "I'm not upset," seems like the correct response, or so you would think. Trust me, it's not. "I'm fine" or "I'm not upset" prompts nothing but further inquiry on what really is your deal. Even though you know it's nothing, you just can't always pay attention to your face when you're busy reading, working, thinking, or various other things- it doesn't matter to some people they MUST know why you appear upset or angry. After years of this endless interrogation I finally discovered my favorite inquiry ending response, "I just look like this." See what I did there? The response turns the table on the inquirer. While you may be looking like a bitch the inquirer suddenly becomes a bitch by negatively commenting on your appearance. Aren't I clever?

While we're turning tables on you anyway, let's discuss your RSF. Why are you so happy all of the time anyway? Doesn't it seem strange to just around sit smiling all of the time?

Are you not aware that there are children starving to death around the globe and here you are fat and happy, without a concern in the world, happy just for the sake of being happy? I don't know, seems off to me. I smile when I have something to smile about. I don't just sit around smiling at people I don't know for no reason other to shove it in their face that I'm happy. Nobody is that happy so stop trying to pretend you are.

After reading this back, I now think my face probably does adequately express my thoughts. Oh well. You still don't need to bother me about it all of the time.