Generally speaking, I think I am a relatively good person. With some exceptions (nobody's perfect) I try to be pretty friendly to everyone and I'd much rather make someone's day better rather than worse. That being said, I don't know how strangers are possibly able to pick up on this. Something about my face must give off the impression that I the kindest soul on the planet who is wildly incapable of saying no if someone asks for help or wants something.
I once fell asleep on a 3 am flight while wearing headphones and the guy sitting one spot down from me moved over so he was directly beside me and took it upon himself to shake me awake so that he could proceed to talk my ear off for the duration of the entire flight. And instead of saying, "why on God's green earth would you dare wake me up at this hour when I was clearly just dead to this world," I just obligingly listened to him for three hours straight in a half comatose state.
Numerous strangers throughout my life have informed me that I look nice. I don't know what that even means. I never know how to respond because I also don't know if it was intended to be a compliment or not. From my perspective I just look like a normal person. Besides, kindness isn't a physical quality, it's internal. I don't go around skipping, twirling streamers and handing out lollipops to everyone I pass by. Most times I look in the mirror I just look tired.
Earlier this year, a student on campus realized he forgot his ID when he went to print something. He wandered around until he stumbled across my cubicle, which was nowhere near the printer mind you, and then came up to me and said, "Hi, you look nice. Would you mind if I borrowed your ID for a minute to print something out for my class?" The following week an elderly woman in the basement of the library approached me, called me sweetie, and asked if I could explain to her the levels of the library because she was confused about which level printer she sent something to.
Even my supervisor started calling me honey or sweetie from day one of my internship. It makes me fearful that I will never get hired post-graduation, or especially post law school, because no one wants someone who looks "sweet" to represent them in a divorce case. Or a homicide case for that matter. They want someone like Annelise from "How to Get Away with Murder" who will quite literally stage deaths, hide dead bodies, and set innocent people up in order to win.
It's gotten so bad that if I am in a touristy spot when I'm traveling, people actually flock to me to ask if I could take a picture of them. And it's not as if I carry around an intense professional camera, there is nothing about me that suggests I'm a good photographer. I think I just look very approachable. People always complain about having a resting bitch face but I would much prefer that to having a resting kindhearted face. I don't want random strangers to make conversation with me when I am standing in line at Subway for a sandwich or charging my phone in a bus station. I would just like to be left alone please. Having a resting nice face does have its perks though. I got pulled over the morning of January 1st this year because my inspection sticker was up in December and the policeman took pity on me and just gave me a warning before sending me on my way.
