It was Sunday, January 26th. My boyfriend and I were laying in bed watching the pro bowl. It was during a commercial, so I picked up my phone to scroll through Facebook. As I go to scroll, I see the headline that catches my eye: "Kobe Bryant, Age 41, dead after helicopter crash." I looked at my boyfriend, a man whom has played basketball since he was a child, and has looked up to Kobe Bryant since then; the man who was just talking to me about him the day before, the same day we watched Lebron James beat Kobe's record on TV. My first thought was "this is going to crush him." As the words left my mouth, I'll never forget the look on his face. I said "I'm not believing it until ESPN shows it." No more than 15 minutes later, there it was, confirmed that the legend, Kobe Bryant had passed away at 41.

I, personally, don't have any major ties to Kobe Bryant. I know who he is, most people from my generation do. I know he was an amazing ball player, and I know the things he did for his community, but he never directly impacted me. Once I saw my boyfriend's face, the look of loss and sorrow, I felt for him. I know what it's like to lose someone you care about, whether directly or indirectly. I remember when Alan Rickman died. I was absolutely devastated. I knew him from many movies, but he was always known for playing Snape in Harry Potter. I was devastated when he died. I cried for days. However, on this day, I cried for someone I had no emotional ties to, simply because I understood the impact he had on those around me, including my amazing boyfriend.

One thing that always gets me, is when a celebrity dies, it always turns into a competition. It typically turns into a celebrity vs. military debate. It absolutely kills me, the privilege some service members feel for serving their country. I served my country for 8 years and I would gladly do it again. I loved serving, and I loved my job. I don't brag about the fact that I voluntarily served my country. It's something I hold close to my heart, and I'll forever cherish it.

However, I'm not any more special than anyone else because of it. So, why is it that I get upset because service members always make it about them? When you sign to serve, you have no idea what you are signing up for. Recruiters lie, so you truly are going in blind. I was not at all prepared for it, and I enlisted 12 years ago.The military is different. You are owned by the government. The 1st amendment doesn't exist, you have strict regulations (that aren't nearly as strict now as they were back then), and you carry on proudly because you see what you are doing. Well, most of us do. Not all. However, that doesn't make us special or above anyone else. It makes us a human being who made a voluntary decision to put our lives on the line for our country. Now, I am in no way saying that service members shouldn't be recognized. They absolutely should. However, the truth remains that the same people who are saying things like "Kobe Bryant isn't a hero". The true heroes are our first responders and military" are the same ones that are saying "take us to war" any chance they can. The same ones who will gladly send us to war, but who won't vote to get our service members and veterans better mental health when they return from fighting said war.

Kobe Bryant was a pillar in basketball. He did many things for his community, especially for young black men in Los Angeles. He had a goal to keep these young men off the streets, and give them someone to look up to. He meant a lot to the black community as a whole, setting the standard and proving that black men can be successful ball players, successful parents, and he broke the stigma of black fathers. He gave every ball player hope, and a goal to set for themselves: greatness. Be great. So, while we may not understand fully, we need to stop belittling people for mourning the loss of a celebrity, because to so many people around the world, he was more than a celebrity. He was an amazing ball player, a helper within his community, and many more. However, he was also a husband, a father, and a friend. I mourn with them, simply because I understand what it's like to lose someone you care about, even if you've never met them.