As a bit of a social experiment, I decided to post an advertisement for a boyfriend on craigslist.com. The ad called for a boyfriend, short or long-term, that was also sexually active. I posted an image from a vacation last Summer and called it a day. I left the ad up for 24 hours and let the emails come pouring in. I didn't reply to any of the responses. I knew that I would run into some interesting people, but the results much exceeded my expectations.
The reason I did this was to show all of the different kinds of people that exist, good or bad. I was able to validate that theory, but clearly saying that I was a "very sexual person" was a big mistake. That was all that anyone saw on the profile. Nothing else mattered.
Out of over 100 emails in a 24 hour period, here are the ones that really stood out.
"The Daddy."
This guy's message said only this: "Do you want a Daddy? I'm 42." The word "daddy" is not meant to be utilized for sexual purposes.
"The 'Safety First' Guy."
I'm not sure what this guy thinks I'm into, but it sure isn't what he's thinking.
"The 'Nice and Thick' Guy."
If f**kboy were to be put in the dictionary, this guy's name would be the definition. Good luck getting your football body back. Now go to church. You need Jesus.
"The Biker."
Motorcycles aren't my thing. Neither is butter pecan or creepy men who think this would ever work on a woman.
"Christian Grey."
Naturally this message came with a very unasked for penis picture. It took every ounce of strength I had not to send him as many pictures if my middle finger as I possibly could. Unless I ask for it, I don't want to see your genitalia, I do not want to hear your sexual preferences and I do not want to be put under the assumption that I am a submissive child. This is not "Fifty Shades of Grey." It's Craigslist. Go buy lawn chairs or something like a normal person.
"The 30-year-old."
There's a few problems with this. The first being that his children are closer to my age than he is. The second being that he's so young at heart, yet he goes to Cracker Barrel for fun. In what world is that a younger person's hobby? Lastly, one of his pictures was a picture of his old dusty motorcycle. What a keeper.
"The Widower."
Now I wouldn't dare mock or speak ill of the dead, but I am super confused as to why this guy thought including this was a good idea.
"The Spam Police."
So much anger. So much creepy. Thank goodness I heavily photoshopped my picture."Mr. Moneybags."
I don't need to pay off my student loans that bad, pervert."The Beggar."
I'm sorry, the answer is no.
"The Trophy Husband."
All I want to do is to tell this man's wife that he is a snake.
"Mr. Repeat As Necessary."
All I have to say about this guy is LOL.
"The Power Couple."
These two lovebirds sent me a very long message requesting a threesome. They included an "About Him" written by her and an "About Her" written by him. It was very uncomfortable to read, and I will forever question every man I see with a handlebar mustache.
Now for just a few pictures that really made me laugh.
Not only did this turn into discovering over 100 gross men on Craigslist, but I realized that sex really is all that anyone thinks about. Of course I knew this already, but I have always wanted to believe that sex was not the only motivation for someone to seek a partner.
I personally believe that I deserve more respect than what I was shown by these creeps. I am not a sex object to be toyed with and manhandled. I am a woman with a brain, ambition and much more to offer than my body.
Do not, I repeat, do not, make a dating profile on Craigslist. It is a horrible idea and I hate myself for ever doing it. The posts that I have included in this article were the ones appropriate enough for publishing. Much worse was sent and there are way more nude images in my inbox than I care to have.