The hardest lesson that I’ve learned in my twenty years of life and two years of college is how to respect myself, just like the author of “Why It’s Better To Be The Girl No One Can Have”. This article gave me a different perspective on a value that I have held high for a very long time: if it makes you happy, do it. As well-written as this article was, the way the author discussed casual hookups and late-night booty calls as selling yourself short was a bit alarming to me.

What I love about being a millennial is the freedom and flexibility when it comes to major milestones, like a first love, marriage, and having kids. Women don’t have to be housewives and stay at home moms (but if you are, that’s awesome, my mom was while I was growing up and I know that it’s not easy), and men can opt to. Women are encouraged to have careers, women are holding high power jobs and more and more girls that I meet at school (including my two best friends) are choosing STEM majors, and I think that’s awesome. We are making incredible strides in the world and it’s awesome to see so many women and girls my age come together and encourage each other to be the best we can be.

So, why is our worth and self-respect continuing to correlate with our body count? I’ll never understand it, and there are some excerpts from this

“Attracting a boy should be the last thing on your mind. Carry yourself with dignity. Treat your mind and body with respect.”

I’m sorry, I didn’t know that hooking up with guys meant I didn’t respect my mind or my body, and who are you to tell me that I shouldn’t want to attract a guy? Please tell me, when is the “right time” to want to attract a guy? You college and twenties are about figuring out who you are and what you want, but it’s also a time to have fun. Playing the field, the butterflies you get the first time you talk to a cute guy, the first time you kiss someone that you may or may not ever see again, all of these things are exciting. I treat my mind with respect by not having ridiculous expectations of college boys and realizing that they’re just like me; we’re so young and we have so many years to be responsible and settle down with someone, why not just have a little fun? If you’re comfortable with whatever you’re getting yourself into and it’s something that you genuinely want to do, no societal norm or Odyssey article has the right to make you feel badly for doing so.

One point that this author raised that I really can identify with is the idea that too many times, girls let boys control their happiness. I’ve been there, it sucks, but I’m glad I experienced that. I learned to never depend on anyone else except myself when it comes to my confidence and personal happiness, and I’ve learned that I have awesome friends who make me feel happier than any boy ever could everyday of my life.

“Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn, my God do you learn”, C.S Lewis had the right idea. I know what I want and I know what I don’t want, and if I want to hook up with someone, I am going to do it. To me, nothing says confidence and self-respect than a person who knows what will make them happy and going after whatever that may be.