OK, so there was an article about deciding not to go through recruitment and the reasons behind it. When I first saw the article, I genuinely thought that it was going to be eye opening and help those girls that are debating whether or not to go through recruitment, mainly because I understand that recruitment and sororities are not for everyone and that's perfectly OK. As I read the article though, it didn't sit right with me. It struck me as judgmental and just plain mean.
So, I just wanted to set the record straight, not for the author of the article, but for the thousands of girls that are borderline on their decision whether or not to go through recruitment.
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Fitting in:
We're not all made from the exact same piece of fabric and that's what makes it all the more rewarding. You meet girls you would've probably never crossed paths with if you hadn't gone through recruitment. I'm not blonde or rail skinny. I don't own any Lily. And hey, guess what? I'm in a sorority, and it's been one of the best decisions I've made in my college years.
Being in a sorority has taught me that we all bring our own unique, special ingredient to the mix. There are girls with different backgrounds and many different personalities to choose from. Yeah, there are girls that like to go out with their friends on a Saturday night and there are girls that would rather stay in to watch Netflix or maybe study. There are outgoing and shy girls. There are girls that come from a long generation of sorority women and there are those that are the first in their family.
So, don't you worry about not fitting in because I promise you, you will find the place where you belong and where you feel like home. That's the place you're meant to be.
Sorority moms?
I honestly wasn't all that offended with the article I read a few days back because I knew what my sisters and I bring to the table, but when you want to talk about people's moms, that's when I have a problem. OK, go ahead and bash on thousands of girls, but don't bring their moms into the conversation because I know you wouldn't like it.
Moms, just like us, are different. We were all raised differently by different people. These differences are what make the world go round. If we were raised by the exact same clone then how boring of a world it would be?
For example, my mom is a working woman who started from the bottom, and yes, now she's here. In order to put me through college, my mom works her butt off. She has taught me to be strong and independent and to work for what I want. She doesn't spend her lunch with her friends, but hey, if she wanted to, what would be the problem?
Moms, like anyone else, have the right to do whatever they want with whomever they want. Everyone makes different choices, but you can't judge people's lifestyles. Sorority moms are always in people's business? How about you stop being in theirs and let them be.
The money aka the dues:
Yes, it's expensive, and this is something you should have a conversation with your parents about before deciding to go through recruitment. On the other hand, your parents' money isn't the only option. If you really want to be in a sorority, you can get a job to help pay for it. There are also payment plans and sometimes even scholarships. I understand that college is expensive, but just like there are options to pay for college, there are also options for paying your sorority dues.
College is a clean slate.
I understand we all need time to cope. Going to a new place where you might not know anyone is scary, and I get that. In high school, I was on the soccer team and had friends for the completely wrong reasons. Unfortunately, those friends are no longer around and that's okay. When I went away to school, I was ready to make lifelong friendships—the kind of friendships that endure everything. When I joined my sorority, I wasn't making friends right away because that's how my personality is. I have to get to know someone to be comfortable and let them in my bubble. I for sure didn't have to pretend to be someone I wasn't, because that's why my sorority and I mutually chose each other: there was something that clicked. We don't have to pretend to be happy all of the time because we're all human and we have good and bad days. When I've had bad days, my sisters have been there for me because I never pretended to be happy when I wasn't.
Social gatherings:
Mixers. Formals. Philanthropy events.
It's a ton of fun and it is possible to enjoy those events while taking 18 hours and being in the honors program or any fast-paced university program. How do I know this? Well, many of my sisters are extremely talented at managing their time. I've seen sisters maintain a 4.0, keep a job, and still enjoy the events a sorority brings.
You also don't have to attend every single event if it isn't mandatory—most social events aren't. The only reason why you'd want to attend them is because you want to have fun and take a break from school, but also because many sorority dues cover those events. If you're paying for something, you might as well take full advantage of it. Also, philanthropy events aren't meant to be social in the way you would think because we organize these events for specific charities, and yes, you get to be around sisters and other peers, but the main focus is to raise money for your philanthropy.
In the end, it all depends on how well you can manage your time—and being in a sorority will teach you a thing or two about time management.
The recruitment process:
I'm not going to sugar coat it, it's stressful and it takes a certain amount of strength to keep going after the first couple of days.
Small talk is the worst, and having to repeat your hometown, major, and why you chose your school gets tiring very quickly. You have to walk and be standing a lot, so start getting used to being in heels or wedges for long periods of time.
The best advice I can give is to always be yourself because everyone wants to see your real self and that's the only way you'll be sure you can find a home in the chapters that you are interested in. You also have to go into this with an open mind and keep telling yourself that if you truly want to find a place where you belong and will thrive then you have to always be yourself.
The stigma:
Raise your hand if you've ever been stereotyped or generalized because of how you dress, how you look, who you hang out with, or what kind of hobbies you have. I'm pretty sure we've all been there, done that.
Being in a sorority, you automatically are seen as a shallow party animal by your own peers and maybe that's what's wrong with everything. People are so quick to judge without getting to know people first. If we're gonna better each other, let's start by accepting everyone who looks or acts different than you.
I have met the smartest, most driven girls in my sorority. These are girls that know what they want and they go get it. Most of the recent graduates are either going to grad school or they have a job lined up, so I don't think the fact that they were in a sorority kept them from having those opportunities.
Now, I hope we're all aware that you can never keep every single person you know or meet 100 percent happy. So you do you girls. Whatever you want to do with your college life, whether it is joining a sorority or joining the quidditch team, or hey, maybe both of those things, don't be afraid to go for it. As long as it's what you want, you don't have to explain to anyone but God and even He knows your plan, so let Him take control.
