After reading "I Learned More In A Frat House Than I Did In A Classroom" by Nicole Mascal, I was annoyed and a little sad that education had been reduced to lessons in a frat house. Come on people. Really?
To begin with, if you've taken 160 credits and been in college for four years and you've learned "freakin' nothing," there's a 100% chance you should've switched your major a long time ago. Now, don't get me wrong, I get that you're being a little facetious (considering you have a 3.1GPA, congrats by the way - multi-tasking is a crazy thing am I right?), but it's still a ridiculous claim.
If you're passionate about what you're doing with school and what you're learning, you'll be able to take far more away from your classes than the information you have to study for tests. You'll learn about yourself and who you want to be. You'll find your passion and learn time management and how to prioritize. There's so much that education has to offer besides the stuff you see at face value, so if you're not getting it then like I said - change your major.
The opening argument presented is that in school you didn't learn how to "do your taxes, socialize beyond superficial weekend activities, or know how to cope with stress," this concerns me. There's probably a 98% chance that no frat house will teach you how to do any of those things either, unless I've been going to all of the wrong parties??? Most people in their 20s don't know how to do their taxes so congrats, you fit in with the majority of people your age.
As for the whole "MLA format" and "mitochondria being the power house of the cell" thing, I think we all learned that freshmen year of high school? So again, not a super valid argument. Maybe if you tossed in Chicago style formatting I could give you some credit, but MLA??? You legit can go on easybib.com and it does it for you - hopefully that's tip #2 you can add to your list of the apparent 1 thing you learned in college (which by the way, Tylenol isn't a blood thinner and if you're worried about your liver maybe try drinking less, just a thought).
Now onto the bit about math, science, history, and stress management (which seeing as how this is something you mention a lot... You seem stressed, dare I say your beer method isn't working???). This part is full of some tongue-in-cheek humor which again, I understand, but still... Reducing all of those subjects to calculating drinks, dealing with drunk injuries, and grabbing 3 beers to deal with stress (which careful, that's literally how alcoholism starts, just saying) is kind of an obnoxiously privileged thing to say. You're able to get an education beyond high school and from the sounds of it, you're able to be part of Greek life, and you're not very appreciative of the opportunities you've been afforded based on all you've said.
This is honestly why people hate millennials.
You've somehow managed to reduce all that Greek life is down to house parties and nights you literally can't remember. I'm not even in Greek life and I'm bothered by it. Greek life is philanthropy based and the only thing that was redeeming in this was the part mentioned about learning the history of a fraternity. Granted, they do throw some of the craziest parties, but their lives are so much more than a few beers on a Friday night. It's about brotherhood and sisterhood, community service and building relationships that will last forever. Outside of this, you don't have to be in a fraternity or sorority or be a person who likes to party to learn all of these lessons either.
I kind of understand the lesson about learning that everyone is like you in some way. I get why that's a comforting thought. Why you "puking next to a doctor" will somehow give you self confidence later when searching for jobs is the part I don't really get. While it seems like a bit of a reach, I'm trying really hard to understand.
The "respect" part was great too (for the most part - I mean at one point you kind of got into some internalized misogyny for a second there, but we'll let it slide). However, I'm hoping you learned that you should be respected far sooner than your first frat party, and that respect isn't something that should depend on some drunk jerk getting kicked out of a party. I'm glad people are looking out for each other, as they always should, but if your self respect is dependent on situations like that then we've got some things to work on.
The "friendship" aspect got a little confusing for me. Are all of your friendships based on taking care of each other when you're obliterated on the weekends? The answer is probably not, but I'm trying to make you understand how this sounds. I'm glad you take care of your friends and that they take care of you, but there's so many more aspects of friendship that are rewarding as hell, and I hope you get to experience that if you already haven't. As much as I love going out with my girls, there's nothing like having friends you know you can call on a random Tuesday to talk about basically nothing for a few hours. Or ones that have been with you through all of the worst and best times of your life.
Your "confidence" argument is the one that really got to me. When you say, "When I talk to that boy for the first time and he actually wants to talk to me too, my confidence is through the roof," I think I physically cringed. We're back to hanging your self worth a guy. Confidence (to me) is talking to whichever guy you want to talk to, and not caring if he "wants to talk to you back" because at least you had the guts to go after what you wanted in the first place.
I'm glad you know how to be a metaphorical parent, and I'm sure you'll be a great one too, but please for the love of all that is good and holy, don't hang all you know about "parenting" on taking care of your drunk friends at frat parties. Just don't. Please.
I agree that not everything important you'll learn in college is in a classroom, but it also isn't a binary between the classroom or a dark frat basement that smells of stale beer. There's clubs and activities, along with all that Greek life itself has to offer outside of the parties. There's sports and jobs and so much more than you seem willing to experience or try.
Enjoying your life is extremely important, but education is too. Finding ways to keep yourself happy outside of school work might mean partying every now and then, or it might not. You might learn huge lessons on Friday nights, or you might end up with alcohol poisoning (which while it's technically a lesson too, it's also super dangerous so just think on that for a second before downing 10 beers after a heart break).
Whichever avenue you choose, and there's far more than two, hopefully you will be able to take at least something away from your 160 credit education.
God knows it probably cost a fortune.
