When I was dating my husband, I didn’t have a checklist. Just look at the majority of dating sites that suggest matches based off of common personal interests and beliefs. Where does that leave us? You can literally find someone that has the same beliefs and you can’t stand them as a person. I’ve seen so many articles shared among the Christian community regarding single women seeking a man of God. I’m here to say there is no such thing.

Men can believe in God. Men can have faith. Suggesting that someone is a man of God sounds like an elevated status above all other men. It’s a superiority complex. Furthermore, some girls don’t really want a man of God. They want someone that believes the same way that they do so they don’t have to spend evenings wide awake, bickering, “How can you say that?” over minor scriptural differences. When you get to the core of it, we are all human. We all struggle. Looking for a partner based on their faith is essentially ticking the all-inclusive box of, “Send me the perfect person.” Not just that, many criticize their level of faith. In these hundreds of pages decoded over thousands of years through different tongues, what do they believe?

We can knit-pick scripture all day, but to me God is love. I refuse to believe anything different. I wasn’t looking for a godly man. I was looking for someone that treats me well and treats others well. I found someone that treats others with kindness, and genuinely cares about how they are feeling. I found someone who is respectful of others regardless their background, faith, sex, or history. I found a man who admits when he is wrong, and sometimes even when he is not. I found a man that supports me and my goals even when it’s not convenient, and doesn’t try to force me into the mold of a domestic goddess. I found someone that knows his faith but admits that we don’t know everything. I don’t care if he is Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, etc. I would choose him again and again simply because he is the kindest human being I’ve ever known. At the time that I met him, that was exactly what I needed. I needed someone that was kind. In this life, I believe that is all that we can hope for.

I know that for some people these things are still very important. In my life, I would have missed out on some of the most extraordinary people.