I love words. I love their magic, their power, the way every book I’ve ever read is made of only 26 little letters. The way stories can shape and impact a generation. I love how words can defend those who need it most, like an unbreakable shield. But I know words can also cut like a sword.
More than words, I love the power of free speech. I would never dream of taking away anyone’s right to express their opinion, no matter how much I disagreed with them. Ms. Victoria Vosler, when I read your article, I never thought about telling you not to say the things you did. But I did want to respond, to begin an honest dialogue about an issue that divides us. We have many different beliefs, and while there are many things about your article I could address, I wanted to focus on one paragraph in particular:
Recommended for you
“I'm a Millennial and I'm not OK with gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. Does that mean I treat them like a pile of crap? No, I hate the sin, not the person. However, I refuse to share a bathroom with one. I'm sorry, but if you want equal rights for this condition you're born with, then fight for your own bathroom. Don't take away my piece of mind for yours.”
I cried when I read this. There are days that I can forget that some people view me as less-than, as a mistake, or immoral. But no matter how long I stay in that happy, ignorant bubble, there are always sentences like these that bring me back to reality. Victoria, you are a millennial Christian woman who isn’t “OK with gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.”. I am a bisexual, millennial, Christian woman who wants to understand why.
“Does that mean I treat them like a pile of crap? No, I hate the sin, not the person.”
Most sins are a choice. We choose to cheat, lie, or steal. I cannot choose to be straight like I cannot choose my heritage. My sexuality is not a choice, so you cannot separate the “sin” from the “sinner”. But, why am I a sinner? I believe we were both fearfully and wonderfully made by the same God. Did I misread Matthew 5:48, which says “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect?” We both have the same capacity for love, and we express it in different ways. Our orientations might be different, but these differences do not make us better or worse than each other. One love is not “truer” than the other.
“However, I refuse to share a bathroom with one. I'm sorry, but if you want equal rights for this condition you're born with, then fight for your own bathroom.”
There is a reason that I lied to myself for years about my sexuality. There is a reason I lied to others for years about who I loved. I was afraid that when I told them, that this is how they would see me. As someone with a “condition”. When I first began to accept myself, I was desperate for support, but when I searched for resources, these fears were only confirmed. The Catholic church refers to the LGBT community as being afflicted with SSA, or same-sex attraction. There are countless blogs and articles about “Suffering from SSA” and “How to Overcome SSA”. This part of me that I cannot change, is treated like a disease, like something that needs to be cured. I couldn’t imagine coming out, not when conversion camps still exist, inflicting psychological damage on children they believe are broken. But I cannot stay silent when I see others going through the same cycle of self-hatred and repression that I did.
“Don't take away my piece of mind for yours.”
Am I really that scary? I’m not even five feet tall; I love animals and painting and hugging my sorority sisters. I just want to go to school, get married, and become a physical therapist for children. What part of that threatens you? What peace of mind do you gain when I am afraid to wear my rainbow ribbon in public? When children are bullied by their peers or abused by their family members? When a church celebrates the funerals of victims of the worst mass shooting in U.S. history? I don’t want special treatment. I don’t want to take away your peace of mind. I just want to be able to love without fear.
I’m not sure how to end this. I know that what I’ve said probably won’t change your point of view, and that’s okay. I don’t want to undermine your beliefs or your freedom to express them as you see fit. We need to have differing opinions, and meaningful conversations with those we don’t agree with in order to reach real understanding. We must listen to each other, stand for what we believe is right, and learn to admit when we are wrong.
So I guess I’ll just leave you with a quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda. Because if we can agree on this, then we’ll be one step closer to greater compassion and understanding.
“We live through times when hate and fear seem stronger
We rise and fall and light from dying embers,
Remembrances that hope and love last longer.
And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside.”
