In the midst of the turmoil that the world is facing right now, I feel like we can all agree that we’re bombarded by headlines. We are constantly surrounded by news that hits us almost as soon as it happens.

I hate to say it – like I really hate to say it – but I feel numb to them.

Being surrounded by all the violence and hatred in the world is toxic. I feel like it’s ridding me the ability to feel anything at horrific headlines. I get notifications from CNN and I see them popping up all the time on my lock screen. “At least one dead and several injured in a blast in Germany.” “2 killed and more than a dozen injured in shooting in Fort Myers, FL.” “21 killed in Baghdad suicide blast.” It’s always there.

But one headline this week caught me and sucker punched me in the gut.

“At least 15 people killed and dozens hurt in knife attack at facility for disabled people in Japan.”

A 26-year-old former employee of the facility wielding a knife broke in and attacked the facility at around 2:30 a.m. before turning himself in to the Sagamihara police station. At the time I wrote this it was reported that 19 were reported dead and 20 injured. Japanese newspaper Asahi Shimbun reported that he told police “I want to get rid of the disabled from this world.”

I want to get rid of the disabled from this world.

I was not ready for this headline.

I’m a leader with Capernaum, a branch of YoungLife that specifically ministers to young adults with disabilities. Through this ministry I have developed close friendships with many young adults in the area who have differing forms of disabilities.

One of my friends loves knitting. She makes hats and donates them to local hospitals and orphanages overseas and even got an article in the paper about it. Sheloves taking care of babies. She has the biggest loving heart and is the first to get tissues if anyone is crying.

Another of my friends is a total goofball. She loves messing with people and telling stories. She always talks about her “evil brother,” who also comes to Club, but anyone can see that they have a strong sibling relationship grounded in love. She’s a really good basketball player. Her speech can sometimes be difficult to understand and the only times she gets upset or frustrated are when people can’t understand what she’s saying.

This man who attacked the facility in Japan doesn’t want them to exist.

The knowledge that he is a former employee of the facility is what hurts me the most. I have been hanging out with these people for about a year and a half and my heart has been completely changed. They are so loving and so fun and I love being with them. Sometimes they say things that are so full of wisdom it makes my heart hurt.

I can’t comprehend how someone who has had the same kind of experience as me (at least on a surface level) could react this way.

Right now, my heart aches. It aches for the way that the world responds to people with disabilities.

People still use the R-word (that I, under no circumstances, will use) in regular conversation. It’s basically synonymous with stupid. It’s an archaic description for people with disabilities. People have almost universally accepted that the N-word is unacceptable, which I agree with. It’s offensive and archaic. So why do people still find it okay to use the R-word?

We take our friends to the park and to the movies and people stare left and right. Once at the mall a women bent over with her hands on her knees and talked to my friend as she would a four-year-old. My friend was very much aware of what the woman was doing and called her out on it.

I told one person about Capernaum and they said “wow, that’s so noble of you.” No, it’s not. It’s me choosing to hang out with people I really care about and want to have a relationship with.

That’s called friendship.

The name for Capernaum comes from the name of a town where Jesus preached and performed miracles. In Mark 2, Jesus heals a man who was paralyzed and lowered through the ceiling by his friends into a room where Jesus was preaching. Mark 2:5 says “And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’” (emphasis my own). In Capernaum, we aren’t teaching our friends that they are the paralyzed man, that Jesus will make them walk. We are showing them that they are the man’s friends, that their faith can bring others closer to Jesus.

I learn so much from my friends about faith and love and what that means in my life. They teach me what it means to be a good friend.

Too often the disabled community is forgotten. This is my plea for others to go out and show them love and to be completely blown away by the love you receive in return.