In many cultures, the older generation is the one in charge. From simple things like the food being made for dinner, or very large things like choosing a spouse for their younger family members, they are either in complete control or have a strong say. In some places, it works. There is no doubt that our elders have a different understanding of the world, and that their input is valuable. I respect my grandparents and older family members, and I take their suggestions to heart on all aspects of my life.
But I think it works so well for me because they respect me as well.
Many have heard the saying "respect your elders" ever since they were young, especially if you come from a southern/country background. This comes from the designation of the older generation being in charge, and is used to instill that in children. This family hierarchy works well, as it allows for younger generations to absorb knowledge and life-skills from more than just one person. It's great...except some people take it too far.
I was at work one day when an older woman walked in with a group of her friends. She looked to be somewhere in the 60-70 range, as did the rest of them. Now, at this time of night my pool hosts swimming lessons in three of the four parts of the pool. This is on the pool schedule, has been posted online, and is told to every employee so they will be able to remind patrons. These ladies began to enter a part of the water that was not open to patrons at the time, as there was a swim lesson starting in 10 minutes. I went over to talk to her, bringing a spare schedule for her to take home. I told her she needed to move to another segment of the pool, stating calmly the change in open swim times and offering to assist them to other pool. Instead of listening to me, she threw a fit. I was absolutely appalled at the behavior of these women. Her anger was directly at me (for something I had no control over) and she demanded to speak to a manager. When they grudgingly exited the water after five minutes of arguing with me over the open swim times, they proceeded to complain openly about both me and the community center. As they were leaving, one turned an told me I needed to learn how to "respect my elders."
I was so frustrated. Why? did they expect me to just ignore rules because they were older than me and supposedly knew better? Is that what this has come too? I had been confused with the comment. I do respect my elders, like my amazing family members and others I look up to.
"Respect your elders" is not a get away free card for older people. If an older person is not treating you with respect, you do not owe anything in return. If this saying is used in the manner of the woman at my pool, calmly state what I am saying, "I do not respect those who disrespect me."
It's not OK for people to take advantage of you, no matter their age.
