It won't surprise me if you've never realized that we live in a dance-normative society.
I'd need more than ten fingers and ten toes to count how many times someone has come up to me during an event with loud, upbeat music — a concert, prom, or wedding — and tried to get me to dance. At times, they kindly ask — sometimes they beg — but most of the time, they just pull me to my feet and flail my arms for me.
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When I shake my head no while forcefully resisting their strong grips, I’m always faced with a look of extreme disappointment. “C'mon, it’s so much fun!" they'll shout, making me feel like a party pooper at best and harassed at worst.
For the most part, people respect my decisions not to do certain things. They respect that I dislike drinking and smoking, and they respect that I choose not to eat meat. Unlike how I can order a salad at almost any food establishment, it's quite uncommon for there to be anything to do other than dance at parties. Going to places where there is dancing is an unavoidable part of modern socializing — it's expected entertainment.
To be honest, I've never liked dancing. I firmly believe that not dancing is intrinsic to who I am. I don't enjoy it nor does it make me feel good. So, on the rare occasion that I do dance, it's entirely forced. It's a bunch of weird, artificial movements that I'm trying to get my body to do — it's anything but natural.
The hardest part is that whenever I go to a social event, I have to decide whether or not to play along. I could make my body unusually move to the rhythm, or I could sit at a table, receiving strange glares from the flesh-shakers.
But it's more than just a decision to avoid dancing. It's not like I'm choosing to be "no fun." Who wouldn't want to enjoy themselves? It's no different than drinking. Some people love getting wasted on the weekends, but that does not mean everyone finds it enjoyable. It's the same thing with dancing — it can make a night fun for a person, but it does not make a person fun.
People somehow believe that not liking to dance is a choice. It's socially acceptable not to like certain foods, but it's unreasonable not to like to dance. It's almost as if you claim that you don't like dancing, then you secretly do because you're a closet dancer. This attitude is wrong and disrespectful.
It wouldn't surprise me if you're someone who loves to dance, and you're asking yourself, "Why can't they feel the music? Are they an emotionless robot that isn't (literally) moved by the beat?"
I can promise you that I do feel the music. In fact, I can’t even listen to music while I'm doing other things, like homework or reading, the way most people can. Music distracts me — it captures my attention.
I love listening to music. I even love watching people dance — I just don’t do it myself. I was not born a dancer, and I will certainly not magically become a dancer.
I know I am not alone. There are others like me — the ones leaning against the wall, sitting on the sidelines, and hiding in bathrooms. I see your struggle in a way that most people can’t. I understand your plight, especially when someone is attempting to coerce you into dancing.
We may be few, but we exist. We are the non-dancers. Please respect who we are.
