After I graduated from university, I moved back in with my parents while I looked for a job. I found one doing marketing for a company based in Los Angeles. My primary task at that job was to drive around Los Angeles County and Orange County to recruit potential new clients for the company. Mind you, I still hadn't found a place to live yet, even though I had started looking for one well before my first day of work.

Commuting to my marketing territory in Los Angeles and Orange County from the southern part of the Inland Empire meant a daily commute of at least 60 miles - and a maximum commute of over 100 miles - just to get to whichever city I was working in that day. Not to mention all the driving I had to do between all the businesses I was visiting on any particular day, and then the commute home during rush hour. If you've never experienced rush hour in Los Angeles, consider yourself blessed.

I did this for the entire first month of my job. Occasionally, I'd switch it up by staying at a hotel somewhere in the middle of both counties, but needless to say, I was desperate to find a stable place that wouldn't require an excessive amount of commuting.

I finally found a woman named Barbara - not her actual name - on a website designed to match up people looking for roommates with people looking for a place to rent. Her home was nowhere near where I ideally wanted to live, but it was the best deal I had been able to find in two months of searching.

We arranged to meet at her house so that I could check out the property and so we could both get a feel for the other's personality. The house was located in a beautiful gated community and had a nice view of the surrounding area. The room I'd be renting was a bit small for the price she was asking, but it had it's own attached bathroom and I didn't plan on spending too much time there during the day anyway. Barbara and I sat down in her living room to chat and to get to know each other better. She seemed friendly enough.

Fast forward several days. We met up again to sign a generic renter's agreement form that Barbara had found online. When I moved in the next day, I handed her a check for my first month's rent and a $500 security deposit.

I guess the security deposit should've been the first red flag. The deposit that I paid for the one bedroom apartment that I currently live in was about half of that, and here this stranger was asking me to drop a $500 deposit for a tiny guest room in her house.

She and I started to butt heads about halfway into my time there. She always liked to blame stuff on me even if it was her fault. She wouldn't let me park my car in her garage or on her driveway because she was afraid my car would leak, so I had to park on the street. Her snotty neighbors always complained about me parking on the street because they parked one of their three cars on the street too, even though I wasn't taking up their spot. I was parking on the street right where Barbara would've parked if she'd had an extra car. But even though the neighbor's complaints were unfounded, Barbara always made it seem like my fault. I got so fed up with it one day that I threw my hands in the air and said, "Well then where the hell am I supposed to park?" Instead of answering me like a civilized adult, she just walked away.

I kept parking on the street every day for about a month before Barbara told me that the HOA had sent her a warning saying that cars weren't allowed to park on the street between midnight and 6:00 am. Again, she framed the whole thing as if it had been my fault for parking on the street when I wasn't supposed to, even though that's literally where she had told me to park. I mean, that was the only place I could park since Barbara wouldn't let me park on her driveway.

She did things like that a lot. I remember one time she called me into the living room as I was coming home from work, and she pulled out a notebook with a full-page list of everything that I was doing that she didn't like. She had literally taken notes on everything she didn't like about me, and just like with the car situation, most of the things weren't my fault.

Barbara was definitely in a world of her own. Even her oldest son, who was living with us, said that to me about her. Barbara had said that she had rented out her house to tenants before, but I highly doubt it. She had no idea how to deal with a tenant. I should've realize that when she mentioned that the legally-binding renter's agreement that we both signed was just some random forn that she found on the internet. She even admitted that she wasn't comfortable around strangers, which begs the question of why she was trying to rent out a room in her house to complete strangers. Judging by how nice her house was and where it was located, it didn't seem like she needed the money. She even straight up told me two weeks before I moved out that she still wasn't even completely comfortable with me being in the house.

I probably wasn't the perfect tenant, but a relationship - any kind; even between a landlord and tenant - is a two-way street. I made effort to make it work. I tried to be as accommodating as possible and the least intrusive as possible. I was hardly ever there. When I was, I was usually in my room, in the kitchen cooking, or in the laundry room washing my clothes. I always cleaned up after myself in the kitchen. I always kept my room and bathroom clean. The only people I ever brought there were my boyfriend and one of my little sisters from my sorority once. I paid my rent and utilities on time and in full every month.

Long story short, I couldn't stand to be in that house by the time I moved out. I couldn't stand to be around her. I don't know how she felt about me at the end, but judging by the fact that it's been four months since I moved out and she still hasn't returned the full amount of my security deposit even though I've been texting and emailing her every day, I'd say she's not too fond of me either.

I don't really understand why she's been ignoring me. She didn't return any of my deposit until over a month after I moved out, and only because I bugged her about it every day. Even then, she didn't give me the full deposit back and she didn't give me a reason why I didn't get the full deposit back. Every single time that I've tried to contact her about it, she just ignores me. According to the renter's agreement that we both signed, she's legally responsible to return my security deposit within 21 days of me moving out, and to provide me with a full description of any and all charges made against my deposit.

So in return for being an overall good tenant - and just fellow human being in general - she withheld part of my security deposit for no apparent reason, constantly criticized me for everything I did, and made me feel like I was inconveniencing her with my presence (even though she had reached out to me online).

I pay a lot of money now to live on my own, but after years of terrible experiences with roommates, I don't really care. As fun as it seems when you fantasize about living with roommates or housemates, it changes things; not always for the worse, but it does change things and that's just something you have to be aware of.

Sometimes you don't have the option to live alone because it's too expensive, and I definitely get that. This is the first time I've ever lived alone in my entire life because I finally have enough money saved up to be able to afford my own place. I don't have to depend on or deal with anybody but myself.

But I know some people are terrified by the thought of living alone. They can't stand not having someone else's presence around.

I guess what I'm trying to say is do what's best for you, but don't get caught up in the roommate bubble; that fantasy where you think that living with other people is going to be fine and dandy all day every day. Your relationships with others require effort from both sides, and sometimes it just doesn't work out no matter what you do.

The most important thing is to always make sure you're taking care of yourself. Don't stay in a toxic living situation just because you and the other person used to be best friends, or because the other person seemed so nice when you first met them, because the reality is that your relationship with that person isn't what it used to be and being around them is hurting you. You deserve better than that.