During the 2016 election I completed an overhaul of my Facebook friends list. I removed anyone who supported Trump. I took off Trump supporters for obvious reasons – I’m a black woman. If someone on my friend’s list supported Trump they certainly were no friend of mine. I live in Texas, so I ended up deleting a good chunk of my friend’s list, but after it was done, I felt relieved.
I no longer had to scroll down my homepage and feel anxious about the absolute idiocy I was often subjected to. Now, I do not hesitate to remove friends if they are posting things that do not align with my ideals. That may seem rash and harsh, but it’s 2018 and we have a misogynistic, racist, xenophobic trash pile for a president. I do not want to see these qualities in my “friends.”
When I did this overhaul – that included family, friends, and coworkers – I got a lot of pushback. People were offended and hurt when they discovered they no longer had access to my page. My mother, grandma, and my fiancé (who does not even have a Facebook account) found themselves making excuses for me and trying to placate those I had hurt. I thought their defense of my actions was ridiculous. My Facebook is my own, has been my own since I was in middle school, it certainly should not be dictated by those attached to it. I did not mind telling people exactly why I had removed them.
Dictating my social media experience caused a lot of strife and a few arguments over the course of the year, but I would not take it back. I spend a lot of time on my phone – most would so too much – so I deserve to spend that time looking at content I care about. I do not want to spend an hour hiding posts and dodging comments that make me uncomfortable. If something, or someone, on your page is making you uncomfortable, you should have the right to remove it without it being an issue.
I removed these people from my Facebook account, but I cannot actually remove them from my life. Most of the people I removed I have still had to interact with in the past year and when we were talking it really didn’t matter whether they were able to see that cat video I reposted or not. The fact that I had removed them from Facebook was not what made conversation with them stilted and awkward, but the reason why I had removed them. Because it’s really hard to have a conversation with someone who ranted about the fact that they really did not see an issue with the way cops were treating people of color, or that Trump just spoke his mind, or that finally America was moving in the right direction.
The 2016 election showed me that I really did not know the people I had in my friend’s list. It showed me my connections on Facebook were shallow and insubstantial and that it did not matter how many times I posted about how scared I was – some people just did not care enough to change. This experience has also taught me a lesson and I am more strict with who I add now. Not everyone I have even come into contact with deserves access to my social media. Ultimately, I’m happy I removed those people and I hope it sent some type of message to them, but even if they didn’t learn anything at least I don’t have to see it.
