It was 2:45 am on Tuesday and I was half asleep when my best friend Carl called me to tell me that he read my latest published article about my grandmother’s condition. He knew what was going on, but he did not know how I was feeling at the time about the situation. I have not had the chance to expressed to anyone of my thoughts and feelings because I was still reflecting. But because of my article he expressed how my article made him think about his own grandmother and her passing. His words and thoughts in a poem form was very moving and I had to share the poem.

They say to cherish every moment

Meanwhile I did the exact opposite

Weeks have passed

As she laid in bed sick

But not once did I see her.

Scared to lay eyes on her in her condition

Lying down, still, useless, and suffering

Unable to do anything

Except to look, which was hard

As she could barely open her eyes

Now, bombarded with regrets

Asking myself question like

Did I cherish her to the fullest extent?

Could I have spent more time with her?

Why didn’t I tell her I love her more often?

I found myself wondering

Could I have made a difference

By showing up even once,

Would the result or outcome be any different?

After going through a circle of questions and

Wonders

Memories starts to flood

The good ones

And the bad ones

Then coming to a realization

That the bad were also good ones.

As I dwell in the past memories

Rovers are running fast

And steady down my cheeks

A one specific memory struck

Remembering the last time, I saw her,

Suddenly she grabbed me and held me,

As our hands intertwine tightly

She looked me straight in the eyes

For a solid moment

Then drew me closer to her

And gave me a couple of kisses

Followed by her sweet tender words

‘I love you’

It was as if she known

As Carl read the poem to me, all of a sudden I had the urgency to call my grandmother. I did not want to feel nor think that after her passing that I did not have as much time with her while she was still alive. This process is not an easy one to take in and nor will it be easier when she is gone. However, I want to feel that my last few years, months, days, and hours with her is special. I want cherish those moments with her and spend as much time with her while she is not feeling like herself. As time goes on from now, I will continue to call her every day and ask “how are you feeling today”. I will continue to support, love, and put a smile on her face.

To be continued….