Loss is never easy. No matter if you're expecting it or not, the pain is the same. It's terrible.

The holidays just ended for most and some of us had an empty seat at our table. I find myself wondering if there's something I can do to make that seat feel less empty?

Note to self: there's nothing I can do to make the seat feel less empty, but there is a way to make your heart feel less empty.

Remembering.

Remembering a family member, friend or loved one who is no longer with us makes them seem closer, it doesn't take the pain away, but it reminds you of how loving and amazing they were. This is accomplished by doing the things they loved most in this life. Watch their favorite show, listen to their favorite music, eat their favorite meal while having their favorite drink or even admiring their qualities that you see in yourself.

Last year I lost a cousin who was more like an uncle to me to cancer. I'm often curious if he shakes his head at me or if he cheers for me, probably both.

Here is how I warm my heart by remembering him, first we need to set the scene: a huge margarita on the rocks, yes he was the first person to condone me to underage drink (oops), next we need the Bee Gees to be blasting, I need the sass and energy to be at 100% and I need smiles and lots of laughter because that is when my heart feels the warmest and least heavy because these are all of the things that remind me of my loved one.

Remembering who is was spiritually is also comforting. Remembering his loving personality and kind soul reminds me of all of the lives he touched while here on earth. His heart was so big that everyone he met loved him, and he loved them back. It's always important to remember personality traits and beliefs because those are the things that make people who they are.

Remembering who is was keeps his memory alive.

The biggest thing to remember is how they impacted this world, what are the things they have done to make this a better place for someone else? These are the things that matter. Everyone has a purpose in life, it's important to remember and admire their purpose and accomplishments. Not to brag, but my loved one touched so many lives. He was a nurse, a professor and a friend who everyone including myself looked up to. I strive every day to live my life to the fullest and be thankful for the things I have because he had these qualities. It makes me happy to know that he is no longer in pain and is in a much better place.

Gone but never forgotten, I remember my loved one by wanting to impact the world as he did. I want people to see me and see kindness and love as they did him.