12 months ago, I was packing the last of my belongings and making yet another list of the possessions I still needed to pack. Being in the same position a year later, I've been thinking about how much I've changed, and grown as a person in the past 365 days. I've earned myself a little more than the title of "sophomore." My freshman year instilled strength and self-esteem in me. Among all the highs this year, I overcame many obstacles. Even with all the love, support and encouragement I received from my family, I learned a lot that I wished someone had told me before I set out on this life changing journey we call college.
It's okay not to be okay.
Moving away from your home is an experience like no other. If you’re anything like me, you’re going to think you’re totally fine, that is, until you reach the city limits of the place where your new “home away from home” will be. Stay strong, you really can do this. It’s okay to give yourself little pep talks. It really does help. It’s okay to miss your parents. Tell them when you do. They miss you too and they’ll be glad they’re not the only ones saying it. It’s okay to miss your home, your pets, the way your pillows were all perfectly situated on your bed, or the perfect way your mom makes spaghetti. And it is definitely okay to go home. Even if you can only get away from campus for dinner because you’re so busy, the emotional benefits of going home often outweighs the cost of gas.
Ask your mom for permission.
Even though you don’t care what she says because you’re going to do it anyways, ask your mom for permission. It will help her feel involved in your life. Let me tell you, you are going to forget to tell your parents so much about your days at school, so give your parents a way to be a part of your life. It’s a sensation that perhaps you can’t imagine quite yet. Trust me, it is going to be incredibly difficult for your parents, who used to be full time babysitters, to not know where you are and what you’re doing every second of every day. When my roommates and I all dyed our hair pink, I talked to my mom and she had some really good points to consider before making such a big decision. Moms really do have good advice. She wasn’t thrilled, but 6 months later, I still think I made the right decision.
Write it down.
Before I went to college, I kept a journal religiously. Even today, writing in my journal is one of my number one stress relievers. Keeping a journal gives you a place to vent about your roommate problems, your crazy professor, or all the awesome details of something you’re not quite ready to tell your parents about. In a few years, you’ll be glad to be able to look back and remember all the fun times, and even the rough times of your first year of school. It is amazing how much you change from your first month at school to your last. Trust me, you’ll be happy to you remember all the details of the way the cute guy asked for your phone number. A journal also gives you a good place to save pictures, ticket stubs, and notes from your friends. You’ll be happy you saved the things that made your life so incredibly amazing.
Get involved.
The amount of times someone told me to “get involved” at my school before I moved made me sick to my stomach, but it is honestly one of the best pieces of advice you can get. Getting involved does not mean you have to join every club or run for student council (even though you totally should because every part of college student council is a blast). It means you should make an effort to go to all the orientation activities, the opening pool party and all the dances. Where else are you going to make friends in a new place? Meeting people in classes is great, but chances are your best friends won’t have any classes with you.
Always say yes.
The very best advice I can give to you is: Always. Say. Yes. When your professor asks if you can read something at open mic night, say yes. Drag your friends and make it a whole event. When it comes times for a letter or recommendation or a scholarship or a work study, you’ll be glad you have that connection. When someone asks if they can sit with you in the student union, say yes. It takes some serious guts to talk to someone you don’t know. One of my very best friends is someone I sat with at lunch the first day of college. When your friends invite you out for ice cream, but you’re not really hungry, go anyways. Just because you go doesn’t mean you have to order something. Most times, a few hours with your friends can make your whole week go smoother.
College is an experience that is absolutely indescribable. The only way to know what it’s like it to do it yourself, but there’s a few things to remember that can make your life easier. Remember your parents miss you just as much as you miss them. It’s okay to hide how much you miss home, but it’s also okay to let your parents know you’re thinking of them. Write everything down, the good, the bad, the nasty fights with roommates, and the time someone asked for your phone number. Get involved on your campus. The school hosts events for a reason. The staff knows exactly what you’re going through. Go, meet people, get out of your comfort zone, and have fun! Always say yes. Connections are critical and in the end you probably won’t remember the night you finished all your homework and went to bed at 10pm. You’re going to remember the night you stayed up with your friends until 4a.m. the night before your 8a.m. class. Let college teach you all you have to learn, even outside of the classroom, and soak up every experience you can. With much love, let me be the first to congratulate you and wish you luck on the next step of this incredible journey.
