When people think of Utah they usually think of the Church of Jesus Christ of Laterday Saints (LDS church) or the Mormons. Growing up in this strange place as a religious minority was not easy. I once had to explain to a flight attendant that you were allowed to not be Mormon in Salt Lake City. I wish I was joking. My parents brought my brother and I to a local liberal American Baptist church in the hopes that we could be able to find a support system of like-minded people. As a child my church was the safest place in the world for me. My church family stuck together and helped each other in a community where your neighbors didn’t even want to know your name if you weren’t LDS.

As an adolescent in the beehive state you had one rule: conform. However, due to my religious status, I could not oblige. Because of this I came up with my own rule that I am sure many before me have practiced: If you can not go with the culture, be the counter culture. From a young age I was taught and prided myself in the ways that I was different from the other kids. I didn’t straighten my hair a certain way, I didn’t wear certain shades of blue, I didn’t dress “too” modestly. I attempted to do everything I could to ensure that I wouldn’t be mistaken for a member of the “them” crowd. It is a backwards sort of way of growing up when modesty was frowned upon. I went through the years feeling the sting of discrimination but things like my eyeliner, a clear sign of my rebellion, was my armor.

What many non-religious people don’t understand is that a church can become an escape from organized religion. When even your state laws impose beliefs on you, solace can be found between the pages of a bible. People like to point a finger at religion and say that it is the enemy but those people haven’t spent a day in the life as a religious minority.

Utah is getting better and when I entered high school, one of the best friends I made was Mormon. She taught me a lot about friendship and forgiveness and I am so thankful for her everyday. I guess one of the most important lessons we can know is that we don’t really know anything. Hard and fast judgments always have loopholes. Perhaps it is best to just love and let love.