Now you just wait one darn tootin' minute. Yes, you heard me, hold up a moment. This is for you ladies and gents who are out in the world. To those who don't have a serious relationship. Those whom wish to stay in their own bubble. This is for you.

Let me start with a little background before I get into the depth of this article.

When I was growing up I had it engraved into my brain that once I graduated high school I was to find a husband. (I am only 25). While in high school I was taught that dating was only to find a mate and someone to spend forever with. So when I graduated high school, I went to a university away from home, and did just that. I started looking for my eternal companion. I failed in my studies, I ended up partying, and then... I met the man I thought I was supposed to spend forever with. We dated for a short period of time, got engaged, moved in with each other, and got married. Just how society wanted me to do things. Well, guess what?! That marriage ended after six very rough years.

You're still single?

So what do you do when someone comes up and asks you... Who are you dating? And when you shock them with the answer of "No one, I am focusing on finding myself," or whatever your answer may be, hold your ground! Do not let anyone in this world, family or friend, make you feel that your only job in life is to get married and have kids.

In today's society many women and men enjoy exploring the world, partners, and new experiences. That is nothing to be ashamed of! My biggest recommendation to the young adults in society is, find yourself. Find out who you are first. Focus on yourself, it isn't selfish because by knowing who you are and your future companion knowing themselves you both can grow even more rather than growing apart.Now wait! So am I telling you what your grandparents and parents have isn't real? That it wasn't worth it? No! I am telling you our world is different from theirs now. We are growing up in a world where the divorce rate is astronomical! Not just because the media makes a big deal that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are divorcing, but because we are growing in a world where everything is handed to us (this is more for the millennials since I am from the generation in the middle of where hard work and hand outs worked together).

My marriage failed. We grew apart. Why? Because we didn't take the time to get to know ourselves. No one should ever settle either. Don't just say, "Okay, well I am 27 and still single I guess I'll choose the next available man/woman as my eternal companion." YOU DESERVE MORE. You deserve a marriage that when you fight for each other or against each other that you grow closer together. Marriages are hard. It isn't something that just happens and works overnight. You build it and grow with it.

So who cares that you're 26 (younger or older) and still single? Are you finding yourself? Are you bettering yourself? If so then you are doing your part in this world of helping to create something long lasting.

You're not married yet?

Okay... you and your partner have been together for 6+ months and everyone is asking if there are wedding bells in the air... You of course try to be polite and let people down gently, saying things like, "We are still getting to know each other." or "Its's still new for both of us we are taking things slow." Don't hesitate in telling these nosy folks that it's your relationship and when and if you decide on marriage that is between you and your partner and no one else. Y'all people are nosy and people love to push others into things so that they can feed on your drama. Don't let anyone pressure you into marriage. More than anything DON'T jump into marriage. It is a strong commitment that you and your partner need to both be in on. Relationships as we all know are hard in and of themselves, however, a relationship is the two of you and no one else. (Aside from whomever you see as your higher being, God, Jesus, Allah, and so forth).

Ok, well what if you're already married and you don't have children yet?

That's important too! Sometimes we are able to find our eternal companion young and so forth because we already know who we are and what we want in life. But children, that is a topic we all know all too well. Even those who aren't in a stable long term relationship feel it. So let's say a friend or family member approach you and asks, "Why don't you have kids yet? Are you planning on having children? Have you started trying to have kids?". Feel free to stop them in their tracks. Women, your choice to have children is yours. Do not let anyone pressure you into sharing your body, that is exactly what pregnancy is. Men, don't let anyone make you feel pressured to carry on your genes or family name. These are personal choices. Also, so many people do not realize that 1 in 10 women knowingly struggle with infertility. So don't hesitate with ANYONE to tell them that is between your partner (if you have one) and yourself. Your bodies, your relationships, and just as importantly your choices.

You're married and have 1 child and everyone asks, when will you have more?

Too often many parents are asked why they don't have more children, why they are waiting so long between kids, or saying that one child is never enough. Let me just tell you I did NOT plan on having my sons so close together, that was entirely not the plan. We wanted to wait 2 years between kids (1 in diapers and 1 out, haha) but clearly that didn't happen. Plans never work out as intended, especially when it comes to children. So why don't you just have more kids? For starters many parents have tried to have more children and have again suffered some sort of loss. Adoption isn't cheap and neither is seeking medical intervention to get pregnant and carry full term. Why are you waiting so long between kids? Well Mr./Mrs. busy body how far I space my children apart is my choice. First and foremost some parents are not financially able to have another child. Secondly, many parents want to have an established relationship with each child before bringing another into the mix. Personally, this idea is wonderful in my opinion. What about one child not being enough? Child or many children are each blessings. Choosing to only have one child is a choice between your partner and yourself. In many cases families feel complete with one child. In my relationship we want four of our own children (biological) and then we wish to adopt and foster kids. That is how people determine their lives and their families. Their feeling of being complete, ready (financially and emotionally), and their child/children being ready for a sibling.

These ideas are very important for society to take a pause and reflect on. What do these questions do to men and women? (I am speaking mentally and emotionally). When we as a society pressure our youth to seek an eternal companion starting during the time of dating it takes away the learning and fun. Speaking from experience I would have too much rather than have had time to test the waters and goof around without it needing to be serious. Taking time to test the dating waters and learn about ourselves we are setting ourselves up to go very far in life. In society we are no longer taught basic life skills (tax prep, cooking, budgets, account balancing, and so forth) which can majorly impact our personal lives.

To conclude, find out who you are and what you want out of life. Don't let society or anyone else depict how you should live your life. If you wish to be single, married, or have children those are your choices and no one else depicts your life. Stand up for yourself, what you believe in, and who you want to be.