I cannot tell you the amount of people who told me to stay single senior year of high school, or who have told my friends in high school to break up before they went away to college. So many people told me that I wouldn’t have a good college experience if I dated someone while I was in college. Because of this, senior year in high school one of my best friends since kindergarten and I decided we wouldn’t date, just because we were going away to college. We ended up making our relationship “official” a week into college anyway so our casual relationship didn’t work out like we thought it would. Although it isn’t always easy, I can say my college experience has not been jeopardized by my long distance relationship.

I will not tell you that being in a long distance relationship when you’re in college is easy, because it definitely isn’t. Making arrangements to see your boyfriend who lives hours away from you isn’t easy. It takes so much effort to plan a weekend where you can see them for only a couple days before saying goodbye for another couple weeks, or maybe months. On top of not seeing each other, communication is much harder when you’re hours away from each other. I can’t tell you the amount of days the first time we talk is 10 minutes before bed, just to say goodnight. When your classes and practices are at opposite times of the day, there isn’t much time to sit and text or FaceTime. It isn’t easy watching all your friends hangout with their boyfriends at parties and getting to spend the night with them whenever they want. Wanting to see each other so badly and not being able to do anything about it can be hard, but it makes you look forward to see each other more. Talking about a future when you won’t have to go so long without seeing each other makes it easier to deal with the long times apart. I have had days where I wish my boyfriend and I went to the same college, but after thinking about it I realize it isn’t that bad.

I have actually realized ways that being in a long distance relationship can be a good thing. You have twice as many friends when your boyfriend or girlfriend goes to a different school. Although you can be sure that at first, you will be skeptical of the friends they picked. It took me a long time to realize that my boyfriend’s friends didn’t suck as much as I thought they did. You also don’t have to worry about splitting your time with friends and your boyfriend when you are hours away. I don’t have to worry about not spending enough time with my friends because we don’t go to the same school. It is nice to have your own friends and hobbies so that you aren’t spending every second together. You don’t have time to get sick of each other, and you know what it feels like to really miss someone. You build a trust together that is so much stronger than a normal relationship. Building that trust isn’t easy, but after a while you will start to get angry when people ask you if you trust them. You have to trust their friends' choices and trust them not to go home from a party with someone else. You have to trust that they are honest with you because you aren’t there. It also makes you appreciate each other more. I know, “distance makes the heart grow fonder” is so cliché, but in some aspects it’s true. You never realize how much you appreciate the little things about each other until you haven’t seen each other in a month and you get to see each other again. Something as small as the way they look at you can be so much more appreciated after you haven’t been together for so long. After your time together is over you will start another countdown on your phone and that will always give you something to look forward to. Being in an LDR might not be fun all the time, but it has its own perks.

Despite what people may think, I actually don’t just sit in my room by myself thinking about my boyfriend while all my friends go out and have a good time. I am right there with them, laughing and dancing on tables. I do all the same things that my single friends do except I don’t go home with random guys, I go home to my own bed. Some people say college is about experimenting and I have nothing against that, but I haven’t gone home with a random guy that I might regret in the morning, so I am thankful for that. I also do not sit on my phone and text my boyfriend at parties. I don’t want to text when I am out with my friends, and I am positive he doesn’t want to be stuck to his phone while he is with his friends either. So when we go out, we aren’t texting each other worried about if the other one is making a right or wrong decision, we are having fun. We always text each other when we are back safe and that’s all that matters. I also can’t tell you the amount of people who have said “do you trust him?” Of course I do, or I wouldn’t be with him. So many people say that you won’t go out and have fun if you have a long distance relationship, or you won’t have a good experience. Life is what you make it and college is only less fun with an LDR if you make it that way. No it isn’t easy, but it also doesn’t make me have any less fun then my single friends.

Not all long distance relationships will work out in the end because they are hard work. I have had my moments when I have questioned if it was worth it to stay in a relationship when we barely get to see each other, but I get on the phone with John and he assures me that it will be okay. You have to work hard on communicating and planning times to get together, but the times that you do get to see each other make it all worth it. Even though we don’t get to see each other more than once or twice a month, I am still the happiest when I am with him and I’m glad we didn’t give up so quickly just because everyone told us that it wouldn’t work. I have someone there for me all the time no matter what, and that is a great feeling.

If you are in high school and someone is telling you to break up with someone you care a lot about, I want you to know it is possible to make it work in college. Maybe your relationship won’t work out when you get there and it will be time for you to go your separate ways, but maybe it will work. You will never know if you don’t give it a try.