Our generation is a fan of the hashtags. We love hashtagging almost as much as we love taking selfies – both things I am totally down for.
As you can imagine, we millennials spend a decent chunk of time on social media and lately – there are only two idealized women on social media: those who are in love and #relationshipgoals and those who are #singleasapringle but highly successful. Picture an enamored couple kissing at sunset with a caption about soul mates or a well-dressed woman sitting next to her shopping bags declaring proudly that she didn’t need any man to buy them.
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And while I think both women are great – as long as they’re happy, kudos to them for making it work…what does this tells the rest of us still trying to figure it all out? We can have one or the other. Side by side with making amazing strides in feminist endeavors, we’ve fallen into the terrible habit of idealizing only these two women – and there are tons of people in between.
Sure, there’s the exceptions on Instagram and Twitter: the mom who runs her blogger business successfully with a partner at her side, or the teen mogul who is boosting her modeling career while falling in love…but they are becoming few and far in between and it’s a dangerous spectrum to find yourself on. As someone who is happily in a relationship but also pursuing my dreams, I don’t want to have to choose. The good news? Nobody should have to.
Although it can be easy to lose sight of when scrolling through your newsfeed, there are people everywhere who are doing both. You can start a family and have a career. You can be head over heels for your significant other while still pushing full steam ahead at your job. You can be one-half of a damn good power couple, and still be an amazing person on your own.
It’s crucial that we remember to show young children everywhere, that they matter regardless of their romantic status. We should not shame the men and women who prefer to be single and treat themselves, just as much as we should not shame the men and women who love nothing more than spoiling their significant others. When we start to make it a choice, we teach children and adults everywhere that it’s one or the other – and both are things no one should have to miss out on.
How do we fix it? We start with the way we treat people that everyone has eyes on – celebrities. For example, the Brangelina split. With people claiming love is dead and that they had lost faith in finding happily ever after, we forgot to remember that they’ve both accomplished incredible things on their own as well. They were a great, successful couple, and they’ll be great, successful people on their own. We have to remember that celebrities look cute packaged up in pairs, but that they matter either way. While celebrities don’t seem like a big deal, remember that little humans listen to what big humans talk about and they’re not immune to being starstruck, too.
What do we next? We find somewhere in-between – some place where glorious couple shots still get acknowledged for being adorable and #goals, and proud, independent people still get praised for exactly that – fierce and independent. We don’t have to change the way we are – we just have to remember to step back and remember there is an in-between as well.
My personal recommendation? Check out social media accounts about puppies, because literally, everyone wins there.
