As young people just starting to dip our toes into the dating world, we're bound to enter relationships that are very flawed and very clumsy. And even though we'll try to avoid them as much as possible, imperfections are definitely to be expected. But there are some offenses that really just unacceptable—and they are bad enough that they can all be grouped under the traditional "seven deadly sins" classification.
Here are some actions and mindsets that you should steer clear of if you intend on dating happily and healthily:
1. Lust
Before you get all huffy and express your rage in the comments, know that there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying sexual activities with someone you love, with a stranger, with your best friend (probably not the best idea, though), with ANYONE. BUT there are definitely chances for you to indulge in business that's all too risky when you're getting frisky. So here are some offenses related to sex that you should be mindful enough to avoid:
Don't force your partner to have sex when they clearly aren't in the moo
Don't guilt your partner into having sex when they clearly aren't in the mood
Don't disrespect your partner's wishes to stop at any point
Refrain from having sex in your dorm when your roommate is present, awake or asleep
Don't blatantly disregard your own or your partner's safety (refusing to wear a condom, not getting tested, etc.)
Avoid berating or making fun of your partner for not being as skilled in the bedroom as you'd like them to be
Never, EVER cheat on your partner, even if you claim it's "only a physical relationship," you're still in the wrong
2. Gluttony
There is definitely such a thing as excess when it comes to romantic relationships. Whether you're abusing your partner's kindness to get a particular end, pressuring them to always be your side, or trying to exert control over them, your behavior is out of hand and will be really detrimental to both of your mental, emotional, and even physical health. The following seven actions and mannerisms are some of the worst that you can exhibit towards your significant other:
Don't invade your partner's personal space when they ask for some time to themselves
Don't try to keep your S.O. from upholding their responsibilities and other commitments
Don't get angry when your S.O. wants to spend a few hours or a day hanging out with other people
Refrain from tracking your partner's every move and demanding them to tell you where they are at all times
Don't eat all of your partner's food or use all of their toiletries without offering to replace what's now gone
Don't overstay your welcome at your S.O.'s place
Avoid being too possessive of your partner to the point where you control almost their every move
3. Greed
We all have material desires, but for some of us, our wants are unrealistic and way too farfetched to fully satisfy. It's sometimes tempting to take advantage of your sweetheart's ample resources (money, food, etc.), but healthy relationships have a balance of giving and taking from both partners. Keep yourself from committing any of the following acts of greed:
Don't pressure your partner into always funding your dates
Don't lash out at your S.O. for not splurging on an anniversary, holiday, or birthday gift
Avoid trying to "buy" your partner's love with material possessions
Refrain from ordering the most expensive meal at a restaurant if your partner is paying
Don't "borrow" money from your S.O. with no intention of paying them back
Don't treat your partner like your Uber driver; offer to pay for gas every once in a while or drive them places, too
Don't talk down to your S.O. for not making a lot of money or more making less money than you
4. Sloth
Relationships are about both partners willingly putting in the time and effort to build a loving, trusting bond that will last. When one of you isn't contributing, however, it becomes all too easy for the connection you once had to fall apart at an alarming rate. Whether it's mere inconsideration, forgetfulness, or plain laziness, make sure you are actively present in your relationship by avoiding these seven pitfalls:
If you live together, don't leave your partner to do all of the cooking, cleaning, and general housekeeping tasks
Don't stand your S.O. up when you make plans
Refrain from canceling your plans at the last minute whenever possible
Don't ignore or deny your partner if they ask for your help
Don't just stand by as your S.O. neglects their physical, emotional, or mental health
Don't turn your partner into your personal slave who must cater to your every whim
Avoid giving up on your relationship just because you reach a point where it gets difficult
5. Wrath
As humans, we're prone to being emotionally volatile at times when we feel as though we are losing our grip on our control over our lives. And if we're in a relationship, it's all too easy sometimes to snap and attack our partner simply because they're there. We get ourselves into arguments that get way out of hand and evolve into fights that may even get physical. Here are seven ways that wrath can worm its way into our lives and ruin our relationships:
Avoid randomly lashing out at your partner when you're in a bad mood
Don't become physically violent during arguments
Resist the urge to berate and insult your significant other when you're in a fight
Don't purposely use your partner's insecurities against them in the middle of an argument
Don't let your anger simmer—instead, express your feelings carefully and in a controlled manner
Avoid using so many accusatory "you" statements
Don't deny that there are issues with your relationship when there clearly are
6. Envy
It's totally normal and totally human to admire others from afar and wish you had what they have. But what isn't okay is when your envy and jealousy start to overwhelm both you and the person you're dating. I'm talking about being overly wary of your partner when they say they're forming friendships with people you've never met, or when they say they've been cordial with their ex lately. Envy can be seriously detrimental to your relationship if you're tempted to engage in the following behaviors:
Don't automatically assume your partner is cheating on you if they are talking to their ex
Don't parade your S.O. around or brag about your relationship to purposely make someone else feel bad
Refrain from going on your partner's social media to unfollow certain people you don't like
Don't accuse your partner of lusting after other guys/girls that they are in contact with
Resist the urge to be jealous of your partner's close girl or guy friends
Don't ask your partner why your relationship can't be more like "so-and-so's"
Don't try to radically change your significant other so that they act differently or change their identity
7. Pride
A strong sense of self-confidence is a great attribute to have…until it hurts the people you love and care about. Sometimes, we can get a bit carried away when it comes to proving how independent and well-off we are. We don't realize that our self-righteousness is pushing away our significant other often until it is too late. Here are seven behaviors you should try your best to keep out of your life:
Don't joke about your partner's appearance not being as "perfect" or good-looking as yours
Don't refuse to own up to your own shortcomings or to admit something you said or did was wrong
Don't ignore your significant other when they genuinely suggest things to you to improve your relationship
Refrain from lying— even about what you feel are minor issues
Avoid closing yourself off from advice when it comes to learning how to become a better lover
Don't tell yourself that you can never ask your partner for help if you really need it
Avoid the mindset that if you can't handle your own problems alone, you must be weak
It's okay to make mistakes when it comes to relationship and dating etiquette—we're all human and we're bound to slip up every once in a while. But you can minimize these blunders by being aware of how your actions and words can affect someone else. Be more mindful of yourself and you'll notice that your relationship will become a lot more ideal for both of you.
