I do not identify myself as a feminist in the way most do. My idea of feminism is strong women, ones that do not back down to a challenge, a woman who is not afraid to speak out for what she believes. A woman who is not afraid to be an individual.
But recently I have seen a lack of women empowerment in the communities I am apart of every day.
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As college students, both male and female, we feel the pressure to be perfect at all times, in class, in our organizations, in our community. While both sexes feel these mutual pressures, there are some pressures the opposite sex cannot identify with.
Because I am a woman, I understand the female side of these "other" pressures.
As college women we are expected to be educated, involved, leaders in the community and of course find love. As I grow as an individual though, I find myself putting these priorities into an order of importance. Me first, love last.
I strongly believe that you will never find someone who will truly love you until you can see the beauty in yourself first. But, while I may have these ideas in my head my own opinion can only get me so far.
I ask you, when did our worth start being valued on how well we please our significant other?
I have been fortunate enough to meet an incredible amount of powerful women within my two years at this university. However, it is not rare that I see one of these once, so powerful women, get into a relationship and start to live off of the approval of their significant other.
This is where I start to worry, is it possible to be an individual in a relationship?
To me, the answer is yes, but to so many, it seems the answer is no. I do not think there is a correct answer to this question but I do think that it is one that needs to be brought to attention.
It breaks my heart to see girls that were once so strong and independent cry because their boyfriends did not give them enough attention that day.
But most of the time I find them trying to figure out what they did wrong, and then immediately overcompensating to take care if the problem.
To me, a relationship works like this...
As a girlfriend you are there to support your significant other when they need you, you are their equal, you should use each other to become better people. Cleaning up their dirty work, keeping their lives on track, making sure they are being good people... this is not your job.
This is where I lose the ability to understand relationships. These strong powerful women that I have talked about tend to lose themselves because they are trying to make something of someone else.
Our future is molded by today and if women continue to live to please their significant others than we will never go stringer as a sex. I encourage women everywhere to strive to not lose their individuality when they give their hearts away.
Relationships are made for working together not working for each other and until this idea is put into movement our community as females will struggle to grow.
