Getting into a relationship was very odd for me. The only concept I had of relationships came from Romcoms, my family, and a few of my friends. So, did I have a lot to work with? Sure. However, it's interesting because you only see the highlights of those model relationships- not the ups and downs. We don't ever share those things publicly, so why would I know how to handle them? Also, looking at other model relationships had me comparing the pacing, startup, and overall flow of my own.
The way Blake and I started was...unconventional. I wish there was some grand gesture like in the Romcoms or some super romantic notion that I could tell you about. However, the only reason he and I started texting regularly was that I sent him a Tiktok about the song Drivers Licence by Olivia Rodrigo. From there, we didn't stop texting for a solid 2 weeks... and I'm a girl who HATES texting, but did not hate texting him. When Texas had the great snowstorm, it put me into a "survival mode" type of mindset and without any power for 10-11 hours, my phone battery would easily die. However, I still used it up to text him consistently. Eventually, I couldn't take any more of the consistent texting and flirty things- so after conferring with a friend to make sure I WASN'T making all of this up in my head (ladies, we've all been there) I decided to let him know how I felt. So, naturally, I sent him a song called Like or Like Like. Blake, bless his heart, did not really pick up on the cue, so eventually, I sent a text that said "oh my goodness dude I like you" and that is how it came to be to what it is today.
Immediately he asked me on a date because lo and behold, he liked me too. Now we go on many dates and have adventures beyond measure. But sometimes, I have to catch myself comparing our fun, slightly dysfunctional, goofy relationship to that of other peoples. It's really easy in the Christian bubble to hear of couples who are like "oh we're not kissing until our wedding day" or "we don't do this______" or "yeah we waited to say __________ until 6 months". And us? We have our own timeline. I personally can't imagine not kissing the person you're with until the wedding day. That's the absolute craziest concept to me. Granted, if you're reading this and you have done that, please let me know how that went.
I've had to realize that Blake and I have our own timeline, boundaries, and story. And that's okay. It doesn't have to look like anyone else that we know, because we are unique and do things our own way. I'm learning that as long as Blake and I are on the same page with our timeline, speed, and pace of the relationship, then that's all that matters.
Your relationship is yours. It does not have to mimic a timeline or pace of anyone else. Honor one another, be patient with the other person, communicate your needs and feelings, and love wholeheartedly. When you do that, everything else will fall into place.
