Since I was in 6th grade, I have almost ALWAYS been in a relationship. Crazy, right? I was a relationship hopper starting at the tender age of 12 (or 11, it's all fuzzy now). Maybe you relate to this, the need to being in a relationship. The need to feel that warmth, the feeling that someone cares about you.
As I grew older, I knew my first relationship in 6th grade is the cause of myself needing to fill those constant needs of feeling wanted, but that story is for a different time.
First, let me explain. Relationship hopping is essentially constantly moving from one relationship to the next. There is barely anytime in-between each romantic relationship, sometimes less than a few weeks. You or maybe someone you know may have done this at some point in your/their life, but I am here to tell you to STOP.
Stop doing this to yourself.
If it is someone you know, talk to them about this. It's hard to jump out of this cycle, and it is hard for many to come to this realization. It was not until I reached college that I realized fully how much this was hurting any relationship I got into. That somehow all my past relationships, the feelings, the heartbreak, the memories, were still a burning pain inside me.
This destroyed many of relationships I was in.
I think my time in middle school, high school, and the beginning of high school was spent in a relationship. Before 2016, I think the longest I was single was a month. Some relationships lasted a month, some upwards of three years. I look back now and have no idea how I did that, how I would get out of such a long-term relationship and go into a brand new one.
Though each relationship was different, they were also the same.
It would start with that deep honeymoon stage (you know the sickening love you see in couples), where everything about them was perfect, everything was what I thought I wanted. Though, as the relationship progressed, I learned that they were not what I wanted in life. Our compatibility and frequency were off. I learned information I wish I would have known before we started dating, but I jumped in so quickly, I had to learn them as I went.
My parents were always there to warn me, and I wish I could go back in time and shake myself to reality. And I really wish I had listened to my parent's warnings.
Do I regret some things that occurred? Yes, wholeheartedly, yes. I can't change the things that were done to me, or that I did to other people. I wish I could correct my wrongs, but I know I cannot fill in those pieces anymore.
However, those moments have oddly helped me discover where I want my love life too be, and where I want my life to be. So in a way, I am thankful, though I wish I came to this conclusion in a more healthy way.
While I relationship hopped in the past, I have found myself in a happier relationship in the present.
Funny right, I am in a relationship, yet again. However, this one has felt different and evolved differently than all of the ones in the past. Before, a relationship to me felt like a job, that I had to be a certain way just to please the person I was with.
Every little thing had to be a certain way, from asking each other out to becoming "Facebook official." Now, it is like being with a friend, laughing, making jokes, exploring and going on adventures. It is just with this friend, you can snuggle a little bit more than normal friends.
This is the first time my relationship has not felt like a chore, and it feels great. A lot of this has to do with me actually learning about myself between my last relationship and this one. I did not jump right into another one, I gave myself much needed self-searching and self-healing. I wrote down what I want in a relationship and what I did not want. And this relationship was not something planned, like many before this was.
This formed by a complete accident, just solely by chance. There was a point where we looked at each other and knew that we were dating without even really asking. It just happened to be, it was natural.
Will this be the relationship that will be my last? I am not sure, but for a change, I am excited for the adventures this relationship will take me.
