Being in a relationship is scary. You never know what's going to happen. I am 23 years and I have only had three boyfriends, shocking I know. However, there are reasons behind this, besides growing up with a mom who didn't let us date until we were 18.
My father left when I was two years old and growing up I was a little terrified of getting into a relationship. This led to giving myself a set of rules for dating.
By setting rules for myself it was to help me find someone...kind of. The list was short at first, but after breakups, it did grow with time. The rules seemed simple, at least to me anyway. The rules as well as what I've learned are…
1. Friends first.
I like getting to know someone first. If we can get along as friends great and if we can't see each other dating, that's okay. At least we both gained a new friend.
2. Timing is everything.
Date for a while before you get engaged. Then get engaged if you wish, then have a long engagement ( a year or two is fine) then marriage. I only want to get married once plus you are still getting to know each other, there's no need for rushing anything.
3. Family is most important.
I am close with my family; my mom and my sister. Although it might not seem like we are, but we are. I like a guy who has a good relationship with his family, to me, it shows how he'll be with our family when we do end up having a family of our own.
4. Respecting my decision not to drink.
Okay now before anyone gets mad over this, let me explain. I don't mind that you drink, I just don't really care for it. My dad's side is all alcoholics so I want nothing to do with it. That being said I'm not opposed to trying it. I don't want a guy who drinks a lot.
5. I control who I'm friends with.
I don't want nor do I need a guy telling me who I can or can't be friends with. They try to then it's going to be bad...for them.
6. Compromise is a wonderful thing.
Although I will admit this is a hard one for me, but happy to say that I am getting better. We had both wanted to see a movie, but he wanted to see something that I wasn't really interested in and same with him with my movie. We ended up seeing his movie only if he agreed to see whatever I wanted next time.
7. Space is a good thing.
By this, I mean time to be with our friends without the other. This is great for everyone because you both get to spend time with your own set of friends. This is also known as guys/girls night. You both have interests the other isn't into, which is okay.
8. Clingy 24/7 is not okay.
I have found out that I'm not a big fan of clingy. I tend to feel claustrophobic because of this. You don't have to be all over each other all the time.
9. Communication is key.
Couples have fights and differences, this isn't a bad thing. However, talking out the problems or disagreements you might have will help the relationship in the long run. Talking also helps you both get a better understanding of how the other is feeling about something.
10. Be your own person.
Being in a relationship people tend to lose themselves whie dating. They become attached to that person that they don't know how to function without them. However, I have found that by being with my boyfriend has helped me be okay when I'm not with him. People are always scared of the other cheating or leaving but with him I have trust and with that I know we will both be okay.
Being in a relationship like I said is scary, but it's taught me a lot. I have found that I shouldn't live in fear of being hurt because we could get hurt at any given time. Relationships are just apart of life and growing up we learn from them all.
