One of my favorite things is seeing an elderly couple out together holding hands. Whenever I see this, I think about how much they must have gone through together and how, after everything, they are still in love. It makes me happy that even after years and years of being together, two people can still walk out into the world linked together to show that they are a team.
The world is filled with images of what “relationship goals” should be. Pictures of tan and toned half dressed 20-somethings fill Tumblr and tell us that is what a perfect relationship looks like. They usually include sunsets and star gazing with an overlay of cursive font telling us just how amazing that relationship really is. Then there are the screenshots that flood Twitter with captions that say “boyfriend goals” and list a million clichés or the photos of all the gifts a girl has just received from her “bae."
The goals of these so-called perfect relationships that we are seeing images of are not the real goals of a relationship that I want. My goals are not for my significant other to buy me a life-size teddy bear. They are not for me to sit on his lap while he plays video games. They are not for him to shower me with gifts. And they are not for us to sit in crazy yoga-esque positions that leave me wondering how long it took that couple to take the photo. Sure these may all be cute, but they are not what I will be setting out to achieve in a relationship.
What my goals for a relationship are cannot be captured in a single photo. I want someone who will learn everything about me and I’ll learn everything about them. I want someone to wipe away my tears when I’m sad. I want someone to dance with me when I’m bored. I want someone to stay up with me and plan our future. I want someone to pray with me and grow closer to God with. I want someone who will respect and support everything I want to do in life. I want someone who would never lie to me. I want someone who would love my family as if they had grown up with them. I want someone who, after being with me for years, will still get butterflies when he sees me. I want someone who, when everything we have together seems to go up in flames, we can still make it through. I’ll stop there because what my “relationship goals” are cannot fit into a short article either.
Only a lifetime of love can capture what I set out to reach. When I look for relationship goals, I look for those elderly couples who still look at each other like they are 20 and new to love. I want that. I want to be old and wrinkly and possibly balding and to be in love with my old and wrinkly and probably bald husband. I want someone to call mine for the rest of my life.
But I don’t think these relationships are perfect either. I know no relationship is perfect. I know they can be filled with battles every day, whether they are brand new or 50 years old. What makes them perfect to me is the love that is still there despite the hard times and the troubles.
Yes, I am a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic. But those couples with intertwined hands that are wrinkled from decades of life and love are my hope.
