Another week in the Twitter-verse, another new ridiculous relationship goal. It seems every time you refresh your feed there is a new relationship goal that has completely taken over your time line, and there is no escaping. Whether it is Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, no matter where you look these days, you are sure to find a new, overly filtered, picture plastered to a hundred different parody account tweets that redundantly is hashtagged, “relationship goals”. But with all of these completely unrealistic expectations for relationships taking the internet by storm, we seem to be losing sight of what relationships are supposed to really be about. Uhh, what happened to love? Support? Trustworthiness? Maybe a little fun here and there?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am a hopeless romantic at heart. I cry at every wedding I have ever been to and don’t even get me started on every season finale of Grey’s Anatomy…ever. I don’t mind a bouquet of flowers (hint, hint…) or a date night here or there, but the relationship goals we’re setting for the world using the touch of a smart phone screen are getting outrageous at this point. I fully believe that we’d all be way better off if we banished the whole trend all together and went back to old fashioned relationships; this would be where the actual elements of a relationship like love, support, blah blah blah, come in to play. Not to be a Debby downer, but if you’re in the right relationship you shouldn’t need flashy things to show the world you’re together, the basics should be enough. Let us take a moment to examine the many different #relationshipgoals trends of the past few months and why they are completely absurd.

1. Couples Who Game Together Stay Together

Ladies, if you don’t want to play zombies or vampires or whatever with your man, It. Is. Okay! No one said you had to play virtual sports to be a cool girlfriend. It’s okay-healthy even-to have separate hobbies.

2. Holding Hands in the Car/ Guys Hand Resting on the Girls Thigh while Driving.

Okay I don’t even get this one.You are literally just sitting there in the car and he is literally just touching your leg. Is it really something to be envious of?

3. Girls Sitting on the Guys Lap while Benching.

First of all, eww. “Wow I really hope I see a couple get to second base at the gym today” said no gym goer ever. No one wants to see that, I promise you. To my romantic meat heads out there, I admire you I really do, but let’s keep the couples work outs out of the public eye.

4. Guys Buying Girls Entire Outfits and Telling them to be Ready for a Surprise Date.

In case you have forgotten, which I find hard to believe since you’re probably reading this from some dorm with no air conditioning or during class in a desperate attempt to ignore your professor, we are in college. If you are ignoring your professor right now, let me enlighten you with an analogy so you’re at least doing something half way educational. College is to kid as wallet is to empty. We are broke college kids, or at least the majority of us are, generally I don’t even have enough money to do my own laundry and I live off of dollar menu chicken nuggets. Your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is probably just as broke as you are, so don’t expect him or her to just be able to go buy out all of Forever 21 for you on a Saturday night when we have crazy important things to be paying for like tuition, housing, all that boring stuff.

5. The “guy takes the picture from the back while his girlfriend walks in front of him holding his hand” Picture.

Cute, and not as obnoxious as the previously stated #relationshipgoals trends. But that’s just it, a trend. Tomorrow it will be a new heavily filtered IG challenge of who has the cutest relationship. The cuteness of your Instagram pictures doesn’t determine how awesome your relationship is. I am a lover of candids, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes we take it a little too far; this being a prime example.

6. Any Picture of a Guy Grabbing a Girls Butt in Any Way...Ever.

Please stop. This is a trend I’ve actually seen a lot of lately and particularly the one where the girls leaning out of the car window (probably to get her dollar menu chicken nuggets…because we are poor) and the guy is getting a hand full of booty. There’s also the ever popular pictures of the cuddling couples in bed either naked or almost there that are taking the internet by storm as well. Mama always told me modest is hottest, if you choose to take your relationship to that level, keep it behind closed doors please and thank you. I actually find this trend the complete opposite of a goal and more on the side of disrespectful; guys, respect your lady in public. Her body is a temple, not a playground for you to awkwardly fondle in public.

7. Leaving Candy/Food/Anything on the Doorstep.

If you aren’t familiar with this #relationshipgoal you must live under a rock. But here’s the breakdown for those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about. This picture comes in sets of two, the first one is generally a note or screen shot of a text where the girls like “Omg I’m craving pizza”, and the guys all like “Omg look on your door step” and then the second picture is a, probably lukewarm by now, pizza sitting on the front step outside like the pizza fairy just came. A kind gesture, I suppose, but so incredibly overdone.

8. The Famous Pandora Princess Ring.

I actually have a Pandora princess ring myself, but my mom got it for me because I was the Scrooge that got dumped right before Christmas and spent most of my holiday break moping about it alone in a cabin in the mountains on a family vacation #momrelationshipgoals. That being said, since my mom bought it for me (can we all say, “Riley is a loser”), I’m allowed to poke at least a little fun. While this is a sweet, non expensive way for a guy to show his princess how important she is to him, and while many of my friends have jumped onto this bandwagon with their man friends, it’s becoming so overused that it’s almost a cliché at this point.

Judging from most of this article, you’d probably swear I am bitterly single, but surprise! I’m actually not, I just like to keep it real with my better half so I guess I should take a moment to mention a few relationship goals me and the mister could definitely get into.

1. Holding Each Others Hair While Eating Spaghetti.

No clue where this came from or why it’s this viral goal you should aspire for in your relationship but who couldn’t use some extra hands keeping your long luscious locks out of your meat balls?

2. Anything Pizza.

I see pictures of couples sharing pizza much more than I’d like to admit streaming into my time line.Babe, if you’re reading this, I like sausage and peperoni.

3. Netflix Projector Dates

Ahh, add this to number 2 and you have my perfect night.What’s better than a lazy night of eating empty calories and binge watching OITNB with your SO?

4. Graduation Pictures

As college students, our main goal is (or should be) to graduate from this place. Graduation pictures with your boy or girlfriend indicates that you worked hard together both in your relationship and academically and that your efforts are finally paying off. It also indicates moving forward into a future together. Nothing is better than being rewarded for your teamwork with your other half by your side, then walking into a new phase of life together.

5. Matching Disney Outfits (Kidding..sort of).

I love clothes. I love Disney. I love my boyfriend. So clearly the matching “his and hers” Disney crew necks that are tackling our time lines are right up my alley. Would our friends make fun of us? Probably. Would it be like pulling teeth to get most guys to wear a giant Mickey head? Absolutely. Do I care? Nope.

So there you have it. My love/hate relationship with #relationshipgoals. While some are just for fun and harmless, many others are truly taking away from the basics that make a fantastic relationship fantastic. It’s okay to partake in these silly, light hearted trends, and I am more than happy for you if you are able to, but it’s important to remember and easy to forget what it’s really about. Find someone that makes you laugh, that makes your reality better than your dreams and that promises you a future of love, loyalty and happiness. These are the most important elements to look for in a significant other first, and hey, if you can talk him into leaving pizza on your door step and buying you the latest Pandora ring to trend on your news feed, more power to you.