Welcome back to this week's edition of Just the Tips! College experts Angie and Cass are back to answer all of your questions. This week's questions are about attention and affection.
1. How do I get a nerdy guy to like me?
Cass: I honestly don't have that much advice for this one. Having dated nerdy guys I can tell you it's not that great, it seems fun until you realize he's WAY more into this stuff than he originally let on and then you realize you're never going to be able to compete with his love for video games. If you're set and head over heels into a nerdy guy just be careful and know that you'll never come before these things. You might think you're nerdy but these guys are like a different breed sometimes.
Angie: Are you nerdy, too? As in—do you guys have similar interests? People love to talk and bond over what they're interested in, so if you guys have similar interests, you'll have a lot more luck. Talk to him about your favorite nerdy interests! If you guys don't have anything in common, though, there's not much hope. If you have lots of awkward conversations or find you're interested in wildly different things, don't push it—he's not for you.
2. How do you if know someone else loves you?
A: One of the most valuable things I've learned about love is that people show love in different ways. I recommend taking this quiz to figure out your Love Languages, which tell you how you show love. My top one is quality time, so I try to make time in my day or on weekends to see the most important people in my life. My girlfriend's top love language is words of affirmation, so she often texts and tells me how much she appreciates me. Even though she doesn't go out of her way to organize hangouts as often as I do, she makes sure I know that I'm loved and appreciated using words—and when your love language is different from someone else's, it can be hard to tell how they feel. Check out the quiz and think, does this person do any of these things for me? If the answer is yes, you probably mean a lot to them!
C: Like Angie said, you need to be speaking the other person's love language so you understand where their affection is coming from. I like physical contact so my partner knows that when they hold my hand I feel appreciated and they know that I'd take a hug over a gift any day. However, part of loving someone is taking the time to notice the little things they like. Like if you're always cold so they make sure you have a jacket before you guys go out together, or if they know you've been really stressed so they take the time to check in on you and give you support. Basically, loving someone is knowing how they like their coffee. You know the tiny details of the other person and you know how to please them.
3. What should I do to get his attention and affection?
C: Be yourself. Full stop. Not to sound bitchy, or dismissive, or cliche, but if a guy isn't giving you the attention you want or the time of day, you. Don't. Need. That. Energy. In. Your. Life. Move on to the next boo thang that will shower you with the affection you deserve.
A: Exactly! If you have to fight for his time and attention, he's probably not worth it. You should never have to act differently than you would around any other friend for a guy to like you. So the best thing you can do is pay attention to him! If he's a cutie you've been ogling in class for the past couple months, go talk to him and initiate a friendship. If you're into him, nothing's ever going to happen between you if you don't let him know. Follow the golden rule: treat others as you want to be treated, and if he's not responding, go find someone else who's actually worth your time.
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